The Grand-Naming: What's behind grandparent names?

My kids call my parents Nona and Papa, while Justin’s parents are more classic – Grandma and Granddaddy. It’s always fun to hear how families approach this sweet decision!

Turns out it’s not all sweetness and light, though: grandparent naming is based on everything from history to geography to phonetics. And yes, some adorable kid shenanigans too. But a bit of digging revealed that the whole process is way more loaded than I expected – in such a fun way.

Remember that scene in Downton Abbey when little Sibbie named Lord Grantham “Donk '' after playing pin the tail on the donkey? It was funny because well, he’s a Lord, for crying out loud. “Donk” is not exactly aristocratic.

But the scene was also significant because it marked a shift away from tradition. (Cue the dramatic music, right?) “Grandmama” – the grandparent name traditional for the Grantham’s geographic location, rank, and family history –had given way to something more spontaneous and personal.

That shift is happening in the US in a major way, thanks to our parents – the Boomer generation. But we’ll get to that in a second. First, let’s look at the backstory.

A traditional spin on grandparent naming doesn’t just happen in pinkie-up, ivy-covered manor houses. Pretty much every group of people has a special way of naming the generation older than parents. A grandmother, for example, is called “Tutu” in Hawaiian, “Bubbe” in Yiddish, and “Nonna” in Italian.

In English-speaking countries, Grandma and Grandpa are quite common grandparent names. But as blended families become more and more the norm, the naming scheme gets complicated – what if there are 3 Grandmas?

To them, “Grandma” means orthopedic shoes and getting your hair set once a week. No way they’re to that point yet (they say, as they reach for their hearing aids…). They’re too hip to be Grand-anything.

There’s even a hip name for the Boomer Grandparent naming phenomenon: the NYT calls it a “trendlet.” How delightful is that?

Goldie Hawn’s choice of “Glam-ma” might be an extreme example of this Boomer “trendlet,” but really it’s everywhere, if you ask enough people. My own Mom was determined to be called Nona, despite having no Italian heritage whatsoever. She just liked it!

And you know what? I get it. In some ways, a Grandparent name is more intimate, more personal, and more defining than a legal name, since only a few beloved people will ever use it.

If you’re talking about Grandparent names in your house (or maybe deciding on one for yourself!), here are a few things to consider: