New mom: Keep screaming, baby girl

My daughter has had a big personality since the day she was born. Much to our laughter and delight, she was already rolling her eyes and pursing her lips in the first days of her life.

Now, at 5 months, that personality we love is even bigger. Her belly laughs, squeals and demanding grunts when she is ready for a bottle are all hilarious to us as new parents, but her latest and most frequent sound is a loud scream.

It’s a happy scream, but it’s shrill, and sometimes she keeps at it for minutes at a time. It’s loud but I love it, because I never want her to be afraid to use her voice.

In addition to all my new mom emotions, sometimes I can’t help but picture my sweet girl as a toddler, a kid, a teenager and even an adult. Tears come to my eyes when I think of someone breaking her heart or when I think of her witnessing hate or injustice of any kind.

Apart from her safety and wellbeing, my biggest goal as a girl mom is to provide her with as many new experiences as I can and to encourage her to speak up. I want her to know it’s okay to scream. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to fight like crazy for what she wants, and she can and should stand up for herself and for others. I want her to be heard, and I never want her to be afraid to use her voice.

A story my own mother has told me is one of my favorites. When a little boy was mean to me in preschool, instead of approaching my teacher, my mom told my 4-year-old self to tell that boy clear and loud: “I don’t like that.”

She said she practiced with me in the car that morning before drop-off, helping me use my tiny voice to protect my feelings and tell him it wasn’t okay to call me names.

There is so much I want for my girl. I want her to always feel like she can ask for help. I want her to trust her gut and speak up when something is wrong. I want her to celebrate good news with those beautiful shrieks of excitement.

New mom's breastfeeding struggle: All I do is pump, pump, pump no matter what

It’s been a crazy couple of years, and I’ve sometimes wondered if this was a good time to bring a baby into this world. I think one of the most important things I can teach her to practice in these times is kindness, but also strength – the strength to use her voice, no matter how small, to make a difference.

For now, I’ll keep savoring those baby snuggles, hoping my love and encouragement help her always use her voice.