Inconceivable: After a 'month of wellness,' I'm back, but fearful

I'm back after my "month of wellness" before starting INVOcell IVF.

Posted 1:27 p.m. May 2, 2018 — Updated 8:10 p.m. May 2, 2018

Kathy Hanrahan

, Out & About editor

I'm back after my "month of wellness" before starting INVOcell IVF. It started out as the most unwell month. My son got Flu A and then pneumonia. While my husband and I avoided getting sick, the stress of our little man being sick for so many weeks was tough.

When he finally got well, I was able to focus a little more on my own wellness. I've been trying to eat right, except that time I ate a tarantula burger for work. I volunteered to do it because I knew it would be a great video and story. And although it was gross, the idea of doing a million shots for IVF is way scarier than that tarantula!

I've been trying to get more active and do things that bring me joy. It is so important to be mentally prepared for this because it is literally the hardest thing I've ever done.

And I'm scared.

I have been trying not to show it, but the idea that this might not work is terrifying. I try to remain positive, but IVF is the biggest gamble we've ever taken. I feel like I'm in Vegas and putting all my money on black at the roulette table.

For those who have done IVF, how did you manage the fear about it not working? How did you cope?

Kathy is a mom of one and Out & About editor for WRAL.com. She writes for Go Ask Mom about her experience with secondary infertility. You can follow her journey through her Facebook page.

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