Some people have a maternal instinct long before they actually become parents. Known by her friends as “Mama Meg,” Megan Lyda is a social worker for
Lutheran Services Carolinas who helps place foster children with special needs in caring homes with families who want to adopt.
We checked in with Lyda, a mom of two young daughters, to learn more about her work. Here’s a Q&A.
Go Ask Mom: Tell us about your job as a Special Needs Adoption Coordinator.
Megan Lyda: My job is to meet with families who want to adopt from foster care. “Special needs” in the world of adoption just means kids who have a harder time getting adopted. This may include kids who are older (typically school-aged), sibling groups, minorities, or children with behavioral, mental or learning challenges, or children with a history of trauma or abuse.
After a rigorous assessment process, I begin matching foster parents with children who are legally clear for adoption. I also work with current foster parents who want to help children in their custody find their forever homes. Once a child is placed with a family for foster care, I visit monthly, help them get the services they need and help problem solve. After 90 days. if all goes well, I file adoption papers and the family can really begin their new life together.
GAM: What do you love most about your job?
ML: I love that I get to change lives every day. I help give children a safe and loving home and family, which most have never had the opportunity to be a part of before. The kids get a safe space to be out of the uncertainty of foster care, away from the dangers of abuse and neglect. I give them a family who is willing to do whatever they can to find their child the services and therapies they need to grow and heal. I'm helping a child in need find permanency in their life. It’s also rewarding to help families who can't have kids on their own adopt a child to raise and love.
GAM: What’s the hardest part of your job?
ML: Managing expectations of parents and making sure they’re in line with the reality of foster parenting. I have to make sure they are ready to take on a child who has been through trauma and all that entails. The world of foster care means children with unique behavioral challenges and needs.
GAM: With that said, how do you prepare foster parents for their new role as parents?
ML: Parenting isn’t easy for anyone, but most of the kids we work with need some extra effort to make up for all they’ve been through. All of our parents go through a 40-hour training class where they learn different ways to discipline children from these backgrounds. Our agency model is Collaborative Problem Solving. similar to the book “How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen,” in which they try to collaborate with the child regarding concerns, problems to solve, work on lagging skills, and help that child be able to problem solve and do skill-building on their own.
GAM: How did you get into social work?
ML: I think I have always been called to this type of work, even though it took me a while to realize it. I've always been "the mom," or the one who looks out for everyone else. My group of friends here call me Mama Meg. Before college, I really didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I was bartending, having fun with friends, very minimal responsibility. I decided to go on a volunteer trip to Ghana, West Africa, to get away, find myself, challenge myself, travel – all of the above. I lived there for a month, and helped care for about 80 children at a local orphanage. I came home after that trip and knew that I was called to social work. Shortly thereafter, I moved to Raleigh to get my degree in social work at NC State (Go Pack!)
While I had originally been planning to continue and get my Master’s degree before starting my career, I made a good friend while interning at Lutheran Services. About a year after graduation, she texted me to let me know there was a position open in their Adoptions Department and I was fortunate and ecstatic to pursue and get my dream job.
GAM: Where do you get your inspiration?
ML: As far as inspiration, I think a lot of things influenced my career path. I can remember from a young age, I loved reading about Anne Frank and her life and bravery during the times of the Holocaust. I read a lot of books about young Native American women who were captured and survived a life of servitude and abuse. I grew up listening to the Beatles and Bob Marley singing about revolutions and standing up for others. Once I had the experience that I did in Ghana, my focus shifted to children. Once I started studying social work, that focus zeroed in on adoption.
GAM: Do you have any great stories of matching kids with their forever families?
ML: I have stories for days! Early on in my role here, I had a couple who came in wanting a younger child (as most do, honestly). After a couple interviews and reading lots of profiles on children, they interviewed for a sibling group of two – a brother and sister who were around seven and nine years old. It was a match! The children visited with the family and eventually moved in and were adopted.
Just a few days later, I got a call from Department of Social Services stating that the children’s biological mother had just given birth to another baby and wanted to know if the family be interested in adopting her as well. I called the family, and after about 10 minutes of deliberation they said “Yes, we want the baby!” They took the new baby girl home from the hospital when she was discharged. Today, two years later, all three children are legally adopted and have made such amazing strides in their life. They no longer struggle with mental and emotional problems and I still keep in touch with all of them. The oldest boy has babysat for my own children! Stories like this are why I do what I do every day.
Go Ask Mom features local moms every Monday.
