Back to School: Tips for helping kids beat the back-to-school jitters

For those on traditional school calendar schedules, the time is almost here. While some kids (and parents!) are celebrating the return to routine and school schedules, some children may not be so thrilled.

Posted 1:00 a.m. Aug 21, 2019 — Updated 1:00 a.m. Aug 21, 2019

Coleen Hanson Smith

, Go Ask Mom writer

Whether your child is starting kindergarten, transitioning to a new school after a move, or graduating to a middle or high school for the first time – kids of all ages may be a little anxious about all the unknowns that back-to-school may bring.

“Heading back to school can be stressful for kids for a lot of reasons,” said licensed professional counselor and family therapist Suzanne Puckett of Puckett Child & Family Therapy. “If you can start by determining what is most worrisome for your child about school, that will be the key to figuring out the best way to help them work through their fears.”

Puckett explains a few of the common worries our kids might be feeling but unable to articulate.

Will the other kids like me?
Will my teacher be nice?
If I feel sad, who will help me?
What if the work is too difficult and I can’t do it?

Once you’ve identified what’s troubling your child, it’s time to help them move past these fears. “Most kids innately want to grow in their independence, but barriers like these worries can slow them down,” Puckett continues. “Giving kids the tools to conquer their fears can help them be more successful as they prepare for this time of transition.”

Healthy Tips for Dealing With Back-to-School Jitters

Here’s a few of Suzanne’s tried and true tips for helping kids beat the back-to-school jitters.

If your child is nervous about sitting in a room with new people, role play some conversation starters. Discuss that it’s normal to feel uncomfortable and remind them that it’s likely the other kids are feeling nervous, too.
For children concerned about their new teacher(s), look them up online or ask for the teacher’s bio and photo and review them together. Talk about the positive attributes you notice such as a nice smile, a face that looks familiar or common interests, for example.
If the child is apprehensive about what their school will be like, take a tour so your child can look around and get familiar with the surroundings. Look at the school’s website or Facebook page to learn about some of the fun things the kids do there. Even just an hour playing on the school playground with mom or dad can help kids get excited about what’s to come.
For kids who worry about not making friends, remind them of previous times when they’ve been successful making new friends – whether at school, in new activities or in the neighborhood. Focus on positive feelings and brainstorm what your child’s current friends like about them.
For children who are going to miss a parent at home or a friend who’s gone to another school, spend time talking about how they’ll feel or what fun things they’ll do when they see the parent at the end of the school day or when they see their friend again. Practicing these positive stories can often really help kids cope with separation.
For younger kids, creating “social stories” with imaginary characters or animals going on a school adventure can be a lot of fun and can reduce anxiety in children.
Talk to your children about their worries, acknowledge their feelings (rather than trying to “fix” them), and discuss how new situations can be scary for anyone. Reflect on past positive school experiences and remind them why school is important and what makes learning fun. Share your own experiences as a kid in school and reflect on your positive stories.
Finally – as parents, it’s important to keep your own feelings in check. If you’re nervous for them, chances are they’ll feel your feelings. Kids are very intuitive. Even if you think you’re keeping your fears to yourself, it’s easy to subtly convey your anxiousness about school.

What to Do When the Jitters Stick Around

Remember that it’s normal to have jitters during the first day and even the first week of school. For children who continue to feel overwhelmed, mindfulness techniques can be helpful. There are a number of great children’s books and activities to help parents who may be unfamiliar with mindfulness techniques.

If your child’s back-to-school anxiety transitions into school anxiety (meaning it doesn’t get better over time), or they start avoiding situations because of fear, Puckett suggests it might be time to ask for some professional help.

While anxiety may get better with time, counseling can help make the transition smoother, decrease the intensity of or length of the anxiety, and/or offer coping skills that may be used again and again throughout their childhood or even life.

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