Go Ask Mom

Baby Steps: On the hot seat

Christine hears a different – but important – opinion on raising children.

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Christine Bowley
Christine Bowley

This week marked my semi-annual trip to the dental hygienist. Nothing to write home about – but my assessment turned out pretty well.

From day one I’ve always been friendly with the woman who cleans my teeth here in town. I only see her once every six months, but she and I have a lot in common so conversation comes pretty easily to us. And we both love to talk! Although, sometimes it’s tough for me to chime in when her various dental tools are at work inside my mouth…

During this visit, we got to chatting about kids. She has a little one of her own and I mentioned my husband and I were working on it ourselves (I did not get into detail at that point). Next, she started imparting some of her own knowledge on the topic. It totally makes sense – she’s been there. I was into it.

As I lay there being pronged and prodded, she went on. She told me there was no rush to have children. And, at times, she struggled to find time for herself. She said it took her a few years to feel like she had her own life back, sort of. In some ways, she felt like she’d really sacrificed a lot.

I was truly interested in what she had to say. After all, it’s completely possible that my husband and I could end up living a childless life. And it’s not often you hear about the downsides of being a parent – particularly for someone like me.

When I finally did get a chance to open up to her a little about our trouble getting pregnant, her mouth dropped. She felt awful for what she’d said and was very apologetic. In reality, there was nothing to apologize for. She hadn’t said anything wrong. And as I’ve said before, we are still weighing our options.

In either case – I am learning more about how sensitive everyday folks are to a topic like this. I certainly don’t want to be told what I should do…but hearing the ups and downs of my choices is what this is all about. Who better to tell me than the ones who’ve been there, done that? I want to hear it all!

Christine is an associate producer at WRAL-TV, which includes research for 5 On Your Side and producing the 10 p.m. weekend newscasts on Fox50. She lives with her husband and three dogs. Christine is chronicling her experience as she and her husband struggle with infertility.


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