Amanda Lamb: Waiting in the wings

I spent a lot of time bike riding with my daughters over the past few months. My older daughter is not someone who wants to ride side-by-side and chat. Instead, she rides ahead of me as we follow our usual route. Every few minutes, she looks back to make sure I am still there. To me, this is the perfect metaphor for parenting young adults. They want to be independent, but they also want to know that you are always there, nearby, supporting them, waiting in the wings.

This lesson was never more present this week as I sent her back to college. I know it‘s time for her to be independent again and to be with her friends. But I had this gift of her presence since March, thanks to the pandemic. I got used to having her around again. In a way, her leaving this time was like freshman year in college all over again—that fresh pain of her empty bedroom at home reminding me of her daily absence.

Unlike in years past when we made frequent trips to visit her in the fall, we will most likely not see her until Thanksgiving. Yet, I hope she knows that when she looks back I will always be there.

It’s a delicate balance, a dance if you will, between being the safety net and the parent who remains at arms‘ length so they can spread their wings. I’m still trying to navigate it. I haven’t figured out what the proper balance is yet. So, for now, I’m just waiting in the wings until I’m called for duty ...