Local News

Second wife testifies of physical abuse by Raven Abaroa

Posted May 13, 2013
Updated February 24, 2015

— Raven Abaroa's second wife testified Monday during his first-degree murder trial that he called her names and threw her against the wall on the day of her bridal shower – testimony that defense attorneys unsuccessfully argued to keep jurors from hearing.

01 - Janet Abaroa murder case Complete Coverage: Janet Abaroa murder case

Raven Abaroa, 33, and facing life in prison without the possibility of parole, is accused of fatally stabbing his first wife, Janet Marie Christiansen Abaroa, 25, who was found in the upstairs office of their Durham home on the night of April 26, 2005.

He moved to Utah a few weeks after her death with their 6-month-old son, Kaiden. In December 2007, he began dating Vanessa Pond, and the two eventually married on Sept. 6, 2008.

Pond testified Monday that she was getting ready for the bridal shower when the two began arguing and that Raven Abaroa – whom she only referred to as "the defendant" – shoved her into a wall and used his fingers to poke her in her chest so hard that it hurt for several days thereafter.

She was unsure what prompted the encounter, she said. Before it ended, he was nose-to-nose yelling at her while she begged him to stop.

"To him, when he sees a woman cry or he sees weakness, he feeds on it, and he just goes at you harder and harder, and so I was there on the bed just begging him to stop," Pond, in tears at times, said.

"He said he didn't care if I died. He said he wanted to hit me so bad and that he couldn’t get in trouble anymore. I still don't know what that means," she continued, recalling that Raven Abaroa then swung his hand back and stopped before hitting her face.

She flinched, she said, and he walked out of the room laughing.

"I had to compose myself, and I showed up about an hour and a half late to my own bridal shower," she said.

Raven Abaroa, arrested Feb. 1, 2010, in Idaho, has denied killing Janet Abaroa, and the state has offered no clear motive for the crime.

Prosecutors, however, have painted him as a controlling, manipulative and verbally abusive husband who cheated on Janet Abaroa multiple times. Numerous witnesses have testified that she was scared of him because of his mood swings and had considered leaving him before she found out she was pregnant with Kaiden.

But defense attorneys have been quick to point out that Janet Abaroa never spoke of any physical abuse and that, by all accounts, those who knew them said they appeared to be a happy, normal young couple.

The defense maintains that Raven Abaroa was at a soccer game when his wife was killed and that detectives ignored evidence, including DNA found in a blood stain on a side door leading into the house and an unknown fingerprint in an office closet that might have helped clear him.

Pond said Monday that Raven Abaroa told her after they had been out on a few dates that his late wife was murdered in a home invasion but that, on the advice of his counselor, he didn't want to go into further detail.

Her curiosity got away from her, she said, and she spent hours on the Internet reading about the investigation and watching a 2007 interview Raven Abaroa did with FOX 50's NC Wanted.

"I was absolutely beside myself," she said.

Her concerns led her to further conversation with Raven Abaroa, who told her that police were trying to frame him. She also talked with detectives on the case, and at one point, her parents even sat down with Raven Abaroa and asked him point-blank if he killed his wife.

"He did not respond with a yes or no," Pond said. "His response was 'but I loved my wife.' He danced around the question and ended up changing the subject."

Still, despite her reservations and the bridal shower incident, she said, she went through with the wedding.

"I was really the only one in the position to get the information that they needed. So, I felt like I could do that. I went through with (the wedding), and if he wasn't guilty then we could have a great relationship with a lot of bumps along the way, but if he was guilty I was hoping that I could help."

But as her suspicions about her husband's involvement in his late wife's death grew, so did concerns for her safety, as well as that of her 5-year-old daughter.

"He wanted the perfect wife. If I didn't act the way he wanted me to at church or with his friends, or if our house wasn't exactly the right way, then there was hell to be paid," Pond said.

Still, she was worried about what would happen if she left, so she tried to get him to leave on his own.

"I felt like if I had left, it would have ended badly," Pond said.

By Christmas Eve 2008, the couple separated. Their marriage was annulled last year.

Also testifying Monday was Raven Abaroa's former co-worker, who said she had sex with him on a late-night road trip to Charlotte in the fall of 2003 because she felt unsafe and was unsure what he might do to her.

The woman testified that the two developed a friendship when she first met him when she was 17 and in high school.

"He was definitely a charmer, very flirtatious, and with me being so young in age, I was very naïve to it," she said.

In college, however, the relationship changed. She testified that on the way back from the Charlotte trip Raven Abaroa started making unwanted sexual advances toward her and that they pulled off at a highway rest stop, where they had sex.

"I finally realized that I'm going to need to follow through with what's happening here," the woman recalled. "I felt like I was unsafe and that something was going to happen."

"I just wanted it to be over," she added.

She said that on the way back, she felt so uncomfortable and nervous that she started running her hands through her hair in case something happened to her.

"I'll leave my hair in here, something, so if they search the car they'll be able to find my DNA and know that I was here in case I go missing or something happens to me," she recalled thinking.

She never talked to Raven Abaroa after that night, she said.


This story is closed for comments.

Oldest First
View all
  • canucmypointofview May 14, 2013

    @davidgnews: per her testimony, she went through with it to "help" police in this case gather info - Either she very brave or very stupid. Don't think I'd put my young daughter in that situation. But hey, she's a writer (or so she said on the stand) maybe she needed material for her next book?? This is all too weird.

  • davidgnews May 14, 2013

    I'm surprised she went to that shower and didn't call it off right then - weren't there enough red flags already?

  • North Carolina Cutie May 14, 2013

    How could she go through with a wedding after that he was just showing her what type of man he is and what to expect if she married him. Any man that will hit a woman is nothing but a coward and will not stand up to another man.

  • argarner May 14, 2013

    Even if he did not kill his first wife, he should still go to jail without parol for abusing women. I was unfortunately involved in an abusive relationship many years ago, and he will continue thsi type of behavior. They are *always* the charmer and rarely would anyone know of the abuse because he is so "nice and charming" and she's too afraid to tell. And there is fear and manipulation on so many levels.

  • jenlee81 May 13, 2013

    As someone who had the displeasure of meeting Raven at one time, he truely is a disgusting, evil human being. His son will be blessed if he never gets to know the "man" his father is, and will be much better off for it to. Lets pray the jury sees this scumbag for the monster he really is.

  • DontVote4LiarsCheatsOrThieves May 13, 2013

    whatelse - "What he may or may not have done to other people does not matter."

    It does show that he is not above using force to get what he wants.

  • tigresspen May 13, 2013

    I think the ex-wife was gutsy to do what she did. I admire her for it. Marry him and stay in touch with police took a lot of strength. As all the exs said he was charming. Rememner we were told he could convince you the grass was green when it wasn't...

  • whatelseisnew May 13, 2013

    "Once someone marries, there are really three different entities to be considered - the husband, the wife and the married couple together.

    Many fail to understand that and give the respect and honor due each separate entity, and discord grows."

    My advice to people that are going to get married is: First: Do not do it. Second: If you do get married, then do not live together. No one ever listens, but most people have told me they wish they had listened to number 2.

  • whatelseisnew May 13, 2013

    "Why would any woman want to marry a guy who treated her like that before the wedding? Am I missing something or are we only getting slanted testimony?"

    You are assuming she is telling the truth. If I were on the jury I would ignore this. It has nothing to do with whether he committed the crime for which he is on trial. For me the State has to prove he DID that crime. What he may or may not have done to other people does not matter. A trial I was a jurist, both sides spent most of their time trying to make the accused and the person harmed out to be lowlifes, for lack of a better word. I ignored all of that. Want I wanted to know is what actually took place on the night of the incident. Sadly we only heard from two witnesses to what happened. Based on their testimony you would have thought they witnessed two entirely different things. Given the utter lack of convincing evidence the verdict was not guilty.

  • DontVote4LiarsCheatsOrThieves May 13, 2013

    OpenM1nd - "Why would any woman want to marry a guy who treated her like that before the wedding? Am I missing something or are we only getting slanted testimony?"

    Surely you understand that people can be charmed.

    Also, once someone has time (and sometimes money) invested in something, they think work may change things.

    Or perhaps she was raised in an abusive home and is use to it.

    And then there could be the fact that she didn't want to call the wedding off and appear to be a failure.

    Or maybe he threatened her or someone she loved with harm if she called it off.

    We don't know, we can only guess, but there ARE reasons, perhaps not good ones to someone on the outside looking in, but there ARE reasons.

    And if you've never been in a physically or sexually abusive relationship, it's difficult to understand all the reasons some people put up with it - until they get strong enough to walk away from it, if they ever do.