Local News

Northerners: Y'all Drive Slow Down Here

Posted January 17, 2000

— Icy roads. Dangerous drivers. It's a war out there. The battlelines are drawn, like a line in the snow.

Northern drivers versus Southern drivers, locking horns -- and honking them too.

A fork in the road on a snow-covered street. Southern drivers. Northern drivers. And never the twain shall meet.

Those Southerners, say Northerners, they can't drive in snow. Those Northerners, say Southerners, they just go, go, go!

"Yeah, if they're going fast, I say they're from above the Mason-Dixon (line)," one Southern motorist said Tuesday.

They may share the same license plate but in this stuff, Southerners hesitate, often evacuate. Northerners accelerate. They'll tailgate. Even celebrate.

And that can exasperate this relationship of love and hate.

"Northern drivers got it going on; Southern drivers don't know what they're doing," claims one driver.

"I think they're a lot better than Southern drivers at trying to keep their cool under pressure," says another.

It's a blizzard, cry Southerners, Grim with worry. Ha, laugh Northerners, it's just a flurry.

Northern drivers and Southern drivers, they're like black and white - Southerners polite, Northerners always right.

"Get out of my way!" Northerners say. They know only one way. The right way is to plow through the snow and sleet. Southerners creep and crawl and stall and slam into the wall along the side of the icy street.

They can argue all they want but that is pure futility. They do share something in common - nearly all have a sport utility.

On Blazer, on Bronco. On Jeep and Range Rover. Four-wheeling Yankee. Southern man move over.

"We don't know how to drive in it; that's correct," confesses a Southern driver.

Way down south in the land of cotton, these Yankee drivers have not forgotten how to drive in the snow like a man. Dixie drivers take a stand. Look away -- look out -- in Dixieland.

It's only a road, but really a battlefield. Civil War waged from behind each windshield.

North on the one hand, South on the other. Yankees and Rebels, Brother against brother.

The snow falls, and the battle goes on. Why can't these road warriors just get along?


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