The secret behind getting my teen to do chores
Teens are… well…teens. If you’ve got one, you know they are great at pushing back, craving independence, and debating almost everything. On the flip side, they are not so good at helping around the house. The bigger they are the more mess they make and the less inclined they are to clean it or anything else for that matter.
Back when my kids were little, getting them to help out was actually pretty cute. They’d be excited, turning chores into their own little adventures. Whether they were pretending to ride their broomstick horses or Cinderella scrubbing the floors, every task was a big deal to them — and a bigger help to me. The good ‘ol days! But, as they hit their teen years, that eagerness to help quickly disappeared. What used to be a fun team effort was now met with heavy sighs and lots of eye-rolling.
Cashing checks for chores
I know every kid is different, so I started thinking about what truly motivates my teen. The first and most obvious motivator was money. While cash is a classic incentive, I quickly learned that paying my 15-year-old for each chore didn't motivate her enough. Once she had saved enough money to buy the latest trendy item, her momentum would fade. I realized I needed a more creative way to motivate her and get the chores done. After all, the dishwasher still needed to be emptied, and clothes still needed to be folded. I had to find another solution, and fast.
Knowing she enjoys the satisfaction of ticking tasks off a list, I devised a new strategy. I created a weekly list of necessary chores, and she would earn a “check” for each one completed. After accumulating 12 checks, she would receive a predetermined lump sum. This approach was a win-win: it kept her interest without draining my wallet, and she began treating it like a game, excited to take on more chores for additional checks. Yes!
Steering her to responsibility
Knowing my daughter all too well and anticipating her eventual boredom, I decided to up the ante. At 15 and living in North Carolina, she's got her driver’s permit and is itching to drive everywhere. Any parent with a teen driver will relate: sometimes, you just want a simple, sweat-free trip from point A to point B, without stomping the imaginary brake pedal.
With a mix of self-preservation and cunning, I introduced incentive plan B. Once she completed her weekly quota, I offered her a chance to earn more driving time over the weekend by doing additional chores. This led to more tasks being completed around our house without any extra cost to me — well, aside from a few more grey hairs.
If your teen isn't quite at the driving stage yet, switch it up. You could easily substitute driving time with something equally appealing to them, like extra time with friends or extended curfew hours. The key is tailoring the reward to something they're genuinely excited about, ensuring chores get done and everyone's happy.
A few teen parent pointers:
- Make Your Teen Part of the Plan: You know how they like to be in control, so give them a little. Come prepared with 3 options and let them pick one.
- Set Clear Expectations: Set clear, achievable tasks with defined rewards. This eliminates confusion and will limit future bickering. You’re welcome.
- Consistency is Key: Regularly scheduled "paydays" or reward times help maintain momentum. Consistency also teaches valuable lessons about the real world.
- Flexibility: Be ready to adjust. We all know what motivates your teen one month might change the next. Be open and responsive to what works best.
What surprised me wasn’t just the cleaner house or the fewer arguments; it was seeing my teen's sense of responsibility grow. She would never admit that but I know it’s working. Shhh! Don’t tell her though.
