What are the keys to actively listening to your child

Can you see the common thread in these? I am speaking in all I do.

So, it might come as a surprise that I attended an event on the importance of listening — not speaking.

However, as both a life coach and mother, I’ve learned active listening is imperative to building relationships. Generally, people just listen to reply and miss key information in conversation.

To actively listen, you need to be intentional in comprehending what the individual is communicating to you. You hear more than just the words they’re saying — you should hear what they are saying and what they are NOT saying through verbal and non-verbal body language.

Active listening requires constant practice and is a skill that can be developed over time.

As a parent of two adult children, my husband and I both have to practice active listening with them. My husband Carl was a natural at this. He always came with a calm voice, empathy, and a listening ear. He never interrupted but waited patiently to talk.

Nope – that was not me! I came to my children with questions, and lots of them. I always listened to find the answers and figure out what had to be done. I questioned and questioned because I wanted to fix whatever it was and move on to the next thing. (I’m grateful for Carl because our children grew up in a household that balanced itself!)

Over the years, I’ve grown to learn that what my children wanted was not unsolicited advice. They wanted someone who would listen.

As a teen life coach, I struggle with that same fixer mentality. This mentality makes me prone to try to mend a situation before listening. However, I should also seek to prevent a crisis by facilitating deep conversations where at the heart of it, I am listening.

Now, I want to be a listener and not a doer. I want to hear and not advise.

My heart is pure toward listening because I believe prevention is important when working with youth. To listen intently allows you to forestall crisis moments as much as possible.

Active listening is not just a skill for life coaches alone but for every individual who interacts with others, whether on a professional or personal level. It improves the trust and rapport with your co-workers, your clients, your supervisors, and most importantly, your loved ones.