Two UK moms talk what it's like relocating to the Triangle

Moving to a new area can be daunting for anyone, but for moms, it can be especially challenging.

Posted 3:49 p.m. Feb 8, 2023 — Updated 3:49 p.m. Feb 8, 2023

Joelene Wolfe

, WRAL contributor

RALEIGH, N.C. — Moving to a new area can be daunting for anyone, but for moms, it can be especially challenging. Not only do we worry about the basics like finding a place to live, getting settled in a new job, and adjusting to a different culture; we also have to make sure our family is happy and content in their newfound home. So I thought it would be fun to interview a couple of moms to share their experience on how they coped with the transition.

These two adventurers not only relocated to the Triangle, but are originally from the UK. Meet Emma and Sarah.

Emma (left in the above photo) is a mom of one who works in Wellness & Holistic Health. She relocated from Chicago and is originally from the UK.

Sarah Sarah (right in the above photo) is a mother of three and a communications director. She relocated from New Jersey but is also originally from the UK.

Q: We all come here for different reasons. What brought to the Triangle?

Emma: We were looking for a safe and family-oriented area, with lower housing prices and tax than Chicago, we looked for areas with good public school options and good opportunities to be outdoors all year round.

Sarah: We had been living in NJ for 6 years and when COVID struck and our jobs became remote it was a chance to think about making a change before our kids started high school years. We loved the opportunity here with all the new businesses and the excellent colleges.

Moving is a big deal. What was your biggest worry about moving to the Raleigh/Durham area?

Emma: Our biggest concern was that we did not know the area too well, only visiting a few times while house hunting, the city seemed small and we were hoping it was not too rural.

Sarah: Kids! Will they be happy, will they make friends, will they find sports/activities they like, will their schools be good, what school will they get into, will they be scarred for life by moving again?!

What was the hardest part about being a relocated mom?

Emma: Transitioning my daughter was a big risk, moving her from a school and group of friends that she loved. We were hoping she would be able to make friends quickly to not feel so alone with the move. I was concerned that I may not be able to meet like-minded moms and friends too. Coming from a great community of friends for both of us was the hardest part of the move for sure.

Sarah: Making friends, it’s harder here, maybe it’s the buses and drive up schools. You don’t stand at the gates and force someone to be your friend. Also, Mum guilt. Whatever happens you think hmmm should we have moved would we be happier? Maybe it’s just the comparison in general - you can always question your choice.

Was there something in particular that surprised you most about living in here?

Emma: We were surprised by how quickly it felt like home and that we had made the right move. We moved in July and to have the warm weather and sunshine helped a lot. We were shocked by the number of things going on for a small town, lots of great markets and pop-ups, food trucks and summer festivals. Also, we were really welcomed into the neighborhood, it had a lovely sense of community from the start.

Sarah: Blue skies most of the time, amazing sunsets. How far things are and how no one thinks anything of driving over two hours to reach them!

As a mom, it's typically all about family first. How did your family adapt?

Emma: For me, it is definitely family first. For the first 6 months I was purely focused on helping my daughter feel settled, settled in school, reaching out for play dates, signing her up for activities, gymnastics.

Sarah: Really well. At the end of that first day at school I cried hearing that they sat on their own, felt awkward etc. but they very quickly adapted. The school capping system is stressful and we didn’t get our local school. So it made the idea of making neighborhood friends harder, but all in all they’ve settled in well. Sports helped for our eldest who was in 8th grade. Finding a rugby team was amazing and now my husband coaches and our son plays. Our daughter is loving her horse riding and our youngest is part of a soccer team. Each of our children have built their lives here, it’s amazing to see that adaptability and resilience that kids have.

You do need that mom time too! How did you manage to make new friends?

Emma: Yes absolutely, for me, once I knew my daughter was settled I could switch my focus inward and try and put myself out there to meet new friends. Being naturally introverted it was not the easiest at first but once I got out of my comfort zone and joined some of the neighborhood ladies' nights out, it was so worth it! Now I have some wonderful friendships here because of those initial introductions. I also joined a gym and local yoga studio and slowly made new friends through common interests too.

Sarah: That’s been a little harder, I work remotely, so I’m not in the office but I do have a demanding job and not as much time to invest in building new friendships for myself. I started a new job after we moved so that meant I was meeting new people virtually every day, I didn’t have the energy to plow into real life friendships here but I missed that connection. I’ve been lucky to find that in our neighborhood and make friends with people who are new here too. I now have a small but lovely friend circle and feel very lucky to have found that.

Every state has its special aspects. Can you share 3 of your favorite discoveries since moving here?

Emma: As a family, we have fallen in love with the NC coastline. We had heard it was beautiful but had no idea just how stunning it was, we have tried many of the beaches now, ocean Isle being our favorite so far. We also love how close it is to the mountains. We have visited a few areas now along the blue ridge parkway and looking forward to discovering more this summer and fall. Another thing that has been so beneficial for our family is the climate, it feels like we still have seasons, but the winters are short. We love that we can be outdoors on the local greenways, trails, lakes, walking our dog most days of the year!

Sarah: Amazing Beaches, beautiful mountains and fried chicken sandwiches!

How has relocating affected your overall outlook on life?

Emma: Relocating has made a huge impact on our work-life balance. My husband and I have really made an effort to slow down and do more of what we love with our daughter. The NC environment has helped us do that and we are so grateful we made the move. We are less stressed and happier after relocating. The Carolina sunshine and blue skies help with that too.

Sarah: This is our 4th big relocation, I think with each move I've learned not to sweat the small things and be patient. There are tough moments you do doubt your decisions sometimes, you wonder if the grass is greener somewhere else but then you find one great friend and that leads to another, you see your kids settling and building relationships and thriving and you realize it takes time. Hit the pause button and just wait and see, rather than worry if you’ve done the right thing.

What advice would you give to other moms who are considering relocating to the area?

Emma: I would highly recommend relocating here, it feels safe, and welcoming and has all the amenities you should ever need. My advice would be to put yourself out there in those first few months, join the clubs, attend the dinners and coffees that you get invited too. The relocating Facebook groups were a fantastic tool for me as I learned a lot and could ask anything on there, from which moving company to use to people's favorite restaurants or family hikes. It's also where I connected with other moms moving to the same town with children's the same age, and some of those connections are now valued friendships.

Sarah: Do the research but don’t get hung up on a particular school because that may not work out! Go with your gut!

Joelene Wolfe is a mom, actor, writer & marketer who recently moved to the Triangle from the NY/NJ area. She strives to live every day to the fullest and really enjoys helping others do the same. For the record, she never gets tired of being serenaded with the song, Jolene. You can follow Joelene on Instagram @joeyinthetriangle

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