GAIL COLLINS: Turkey on the brain
Thursday, Nov. 26, 2020 -- Our president does have trouble hanging onto cash, whether it's his or ours. The guy who vowed to eliminate the national debt if elected is leaving office in a fiscal year that recorded the biggest one-year debt figure ever, $3.1 trillion. And during the entire glorious four years, the national red ink went from $14.4 trillion to $21.1 trillion.
Posted — UpdatedSo, what do you think Donald Trump is giving thanks for this year?
C) Melania’s new blond look.
I know, you’re hoping it’s going to be C. But the man is obsessed with his reelection resurrection.
“One thing has become clear these last few days, I am the American People’s ALL-TIME favorite President,” he wrote to his mailing list, a very large group of citizens who’ve gotten hundreds of missives along these lines since Election Day.
The all-important bottom line of this correspondence is that everyone should send Donald Trump $5 right away. And, of course, more is OK.
Something needs to be done! And you cannot help but notice that currently, Trump’s one absolute prize Guernsey of a cash cow seems to be his postelection reelection campaign, “Save America.”
“Friend,” he asks in another mass email, “Will you allow the CORRUPT Democrats to try to STEAL this Election and impart their RADICAL agenda on our Country? Or will you step UP and DEFEND your Country?” It’s both a plea for cash and a reminder that when the nation looks back on the Trump era it will see a time when capital letters ruled the earth.
The return of Trump to his business empire is not going to solve its problems. First, because he seems very bad at handling money, and second, because he doesn’t really intend to go back to a civilian life. If he did, history suggests he’d only succeed in building another tower of overdue bills.
While the alleged Trump agenda right now is overturning the national election results, clearly the real plan is to gear up for a comeback in 2024. It’s a pretty dramatic goal. There has been only one president in U.S. history who lost reelection and then ran and won four years later. That would be Grover Cleveland.
If you’re ever talking about Trump’s political ambition, be sure to refer to it as “pulling a Grover.”
Almost everything Trump does to challenge the election returns or raise money for his next presidential campaign can trickle over to something more personal and short-term. For instance, is he going to try to collect cash for a presidential library? That’s normal for a person in his position. Even though the first noun you connect with Donald Trump is not “contemplation” or “scholarly research.”
Or even “book.”
It’s become expected for former presidents to raise money for a place to display their memorabilia, host gatherings and sponsor research. But if you get a request for a Donald Trump Library contribution, do not feel compelled to follow through. Even if they offer you a free copy of Ivanka’s “Women Who Work” or Donald Jr.’s magnum opus on “How the Left Thrives on Hate.”
But Hoover-Trump is not a great comparison. Unless you can imagine Donald spending his post-presidential career working on famine relief projects.
I hope Pence is aware that only 4% of his party regards him as a better potential president than Junior. Really, if you want to invest in the future of any Trump minions, I’d go for a line of Rudy Giuliani hair products.
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