'This is it': Late night makes a case against President Trump
Posted November 3, 2020 10:52 a.m. EST
CNN — Late night TV comedians, like much of America, were grappling with their anxiety on the eve of the US election.
Stephen Colbert, for one, wants everyone to remain calm.
The host of the "Late Show" on CBS opened his broadcast on the eve of the election by taking it easy and telling an anxious nation to relax.
"I'm oddly calm," Colbert said Monday night. "I'm approaching tomorrow with the languid placidity of the blue whale. My heart beats but eight times a minute. I'm the most relaxed I've been in months because at 11:38 the night before the election, what are you going to do?"
Colbert said America can officially say that it has given Trump a chance and that everyone has made up their mind.
"We are in the grip of the gravitational forces of democracy, which is pulling us towards the results," Colbert said. "It's like our country is a deep space object falling towards a black hole. Either we're going to get sucked over the event horizon into a well of corruption that not even votes can escape from or we use this gravity well to slingshot and pick up speed, and go off in a completely different direction. "
Colbert added, "Maybe that planet where Baby Yoda lives. He's cute."
The host said Tuesday is not just a test of the strength of American voters, but of American institutions.
"It just needs to hold together for one last run," Colbert said. "Our democracy is like the Millennium Falcon. She ain't pretty, but remember when she passed the voting rights act in 12 parsecs?"
Over on ABC, Jimmy Kimmel eased his pre-election jitters with tequila shots and meditation.
"The past four years have taken a toll on all of us, except for one person -- Donald Trump," Kimmel said on ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live" Monday night. "Donald Trump is the only president who hasn't aged in office at all."
Kimmel said that "24 hours from now, our long national nightmare will be... contested for weeks on end."
"The best way to describe how I'm feeling right now, it's somewhere between Christmas Eve and the night before a liver transplant," he said.
Trevor Noah of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" was looking beyond Election Day to Election Night.
"I promise you now if Biden wins on Election Night, then Trump will say 'You've got to hold everything until all the votes are counted.' And then when all of the votes are counted, Trump will say, 'Oh, we should hold everything until all the votes are recounted," Noah said. "Trump is that kid that keeps changing the rules until he wins. Best of five. Best of 13. Best of 123!"
So Noah broke it down in a way that he said Trump would understand.
"Donald, we have to wait for the election results," Noah said. "Because right now they're under audit by the IRS."
And on NBC's "Late Night," Seth Meyers laid out what he's seen over the last four years.
"One of the many things you can say about the Trump era and about this campaign is that it's been exhausting," Meyers said. "Just four years of constant crises, late breaking news, midnight votes and 3AM tweets."
Meyers told the audience that "this is it," and that this is our chance to put an end to "the cruelty" and the "abuse of power" and the "criminal neglect."
And in a rare TV appearance, singer Tracy Chapman performed a moving, acoustic rendition of her 1998 single "Talkin' Bout A Revolution."
"Trump incites violence, and threatens to cheat because he wants us to feel like he's inevitable. That he's isolated from public opinion and democratic accountability. That nothing and no one can stop him," Meyers said on Monday night. "Tomorrow is our chance to prove him wrong."