Is social media a threat to your teen's wellbeing?

Teens and college students seeking employment during the holiday season may be ensnared by criminals offering fake employment, potential education opportunities, and other scams through social media.

Posted 11:30 a.m. Dec 16, 2022 — Updated 11:30 a.m. Dec 16, 2022

Gale McKoy Wilkins

, WRAL contributor

RALEIGH, N.C. — If you have read my previous posts, there are similarities in each, as I believe there is a need for increased awareness and focus on prevention and intervention. According to Cambridge Dictionary, prevention means to prohibit the launch of something or stop someone from doing something. Intervention is interfering with the outcome of something already in progress.

As one who works with students, parents, teachers, and administrators, and is an advocate for youth and parents, a former grade mom, concerned parent and PTA President. The most used phrase I recall hearing from parents was, "I didn't know." My objective with these posts is to increase awareness of parents and guardians regarding an issue and how to prevent or gain mastery over it! This post is the first of a series pertaining to online protection for our youth and parents.

The Director of the NC Center for Safer Schools (CFSS), Karen Fairley, was a recent panelist on a webinar on school violence. One of the challenges she addressed during the webinar was the prevalence of social media among youth. Fairley said administrators and teachers must be engaged, but it all begins with parents, who have a "vitally important role" in school safety. Director Fairley also spoke to the Parent Advisory Commission about the focus of the CFSS, creating a positive school climate. The most significant area is eliminating bullying in schools and the social media that fuels the bullying. Cyberbullying is bullying on online platforms.

An article on How Social Media Turns Online Arguments Between Teens Into Real-World Violence is a must-read. “Social media isn't just mirroring conflicts happening in schools and on the streets – it's intensifying and triggering new conflicts. And for young people who live in disenfranchised urban neighborhoods, where firearms can be readily available, this dynamic can be deadly.”

Also, one of the research focus group participants says it best, "On social media, when you argue, something so small can turn into something so big so fast." According to the youth interviewed, four social media features escalate conflicts: comments, live streaming, picture/video sharing, and tagging.

Comments allow social media users to respond publicly to content posted by others. It allows people outside your friend group to "hype up" online conflicts.
Livestreaming can quickly attract a large audience to watch conflict unfold in real-time.
Majority of social media apps are picture/video sharing apps. Users can publicly or privately share photos and videos with each other.
Tagging allows social media users to interact with an account when they mention them in a post or comment. On most social media channels, tagging notifies the recipient and hyperlinks to the tagged profile.

Youth often try to avoid violence resulting from social media. Those in the focus group discussed four approaches to do so: avoidance, de-escalation, reaching out for help, and bystander intervention.

Avoidance involves exercising self-control to avoid conflict.
De-escalation strategy involves attempts by those involved to slow down a social media conflict as it happens.
Reaching out for help is finding a trusted source to assist you.
Bystander intervention strategy was most effective offline, away from the presence of an online audience.

The adolescents who were a part of this focus group feel that conflict on social media is a public health threat. They described multiple experiences of going online without the intention to fight and getting pulled into an online conflict resulting in gun violence.

Social media networks provide our teens with valuable support as it is a significant component of many teens' lives. Social media allows teens to create online identities, communicate with other teens and cultivate social networks. Although social media can provide valuable support, we need to ensure that our teens are doing so in a safe manner.

School safety is a group effort! Let's consider creating a Parent-Guardian Circle together! Join me on the first Monday of each month, starting January 2, 2023, on Project Arrow FB. This will be our online meeting space to share information and resources that support healthy youth and parents. This group will allow participants to make recommendations for discussion subjects and ways to include our teens in the dialogue.

Meanwhile, here are some steps we can take to encourage the responsible use of social media and limit some of its adverse effects. Consider these tips:

Safeguarding your teen by:

Oppose bullying, gossiping, and spreading rumors
Set reasonable limits concerning rest, homework, and electronic use
Inform your teen of your plans to examine their social media accounts and have regular conversations about their use and what they think
Parents, listen closely to what your teens are saying

Question:

Are you having difficulties with social media? If so, how can I help?

Gale McKoy Wilkins is a wife, mom, grandparent and family life coach. She is the founder of Project Arrow, an evidence-based peer-to-peer and leadership program teaching middle, high school and first-year college students how to deal with trauma and crisis using life coaching. It's the first life coaching organization in the state to receive funding from the Department of Public Instruction and the first to implement life coaching in a school setting.

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