Tara Lynn's three parenting goals for 2022
WRAL contributor Tara Lynn shares her three parenting goals for this year.
Posted — UpdatedI'm not one who typically sets "New Years Resolutions" because I'm constantly evaluating (aka judging) myself and setting goals, both personally and for my business. But I felt that it would help to write down our ideas and hold each other accountable.
Less Phone Time
We need our phones for work and email and in case of emergencies. But we both find ourselves getting distracted with stupid games on our phones or reading long articles to pass the time. We do play a lot with our kids and we let them play by themselves so they can learn how to entertain themselves. But setting the phone aside more is a goal for both of us.
Be More Accepting of the Present
In 2019, I made the official jump to run my photography business and Tara Lynn & Co. full-time. Then Covid-19 hit and had me doubting if my dream would ever come true. I was resentful for a long time feeling crushed by the weight of uncertainty.
I've learned over the last two years to try to accept the current circumstances and varying levels of lockdown and daycare quarantines and try to set my expectations accordingly. It does help for a few days and then it's gets exhausting. But this year, I want to remember that the present isn't forever. The kids won't always be this little and I need to look at this time together as a blessing as much as I can. It doesn't mean I won't still feel like I'm going to blow or lose my mind or be contemplating hopping in the van and just driving somewhere far far away. In 2022, I want to be better at reminding myself to stop wasting so much time fighting what is happening in the now and accept it. That will be my happiest path forward.
Provide Opportunities for More Questions
The last two years have created the need for many in-depth conversations with my oldest daughter. We talked about racism and the protests after the death of George Floyd. She watched the siege of the Capitol during her lunch break on a virtual learning day. My job as a parent is to help my children try to understand the world, navigate it, and form their own opinions. I tend to do well with helping her navigate the larger moments and movements, but I want to give the kids a chance to ask more questions daily and make time for their questions.
When the kids tested positive for Covid the other week, my oldest said, "I'm scared." Meanwhile, my four-year-old was whining about her two-year-old brother taking something and running behind the couch to hide. I had to hold my hand up to Claire as she was talking to just say "hold on" while I handled the younger two. We had all just walked in the door and it was time for dinner. I made sure to take a second to acknowledge Claire's comment about being scared. I gave her a quick reassurance and explained that I needed to get dinner started and then I could give her my full attention to talk with her about it.
It's easy to jump in and just tell her everything is okay and move on. Instead, I started by first asking her what she was afraid of and why that scared her. Then I shared what answers I did have and what answers I didn't.
Kids' questions don't always come at the most convenient time. I want to make sure that rather than just brush them off and forget about it, I acknowledge their questions and if I can't have a full conversation with them right then, I let them know I will as soon as I can.
I also want to make sure that I don't dismiss their general curiosity about everyday things like why or how water freezes, why we have boogers, or why we wear seatbelts. These are probably some of the easiest questions they will ask and I want to be the one they come to when those questions get harder as they get older.
And in my usual full-disclosure method, I wrote this while the two littles played in the bonus room and my four-year-old kept asking for help with various toys to which I had to tell her she would have to figure out on her own while mommy tried to work. Was I annoyed with the interruptions? Yes. Did I have to work? Yes. Were my kids safe? Yes. Could I help her and play with her later? Yes. Parenting is a marathon.
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