Cautionary tale for online daters: Man's many lives discovered after death

Single mother Jessica Boynton tried online dating in May 2016 after a bad break-up that left her reeling.

"I decided to try Craigslist because I saw there were people posting there," she said. "I put out there that I was looking for a husband (because) I'd been through a bad custody battle (and) I wanted to start an actual relationship."

Boynton received plenty of responses to her post, but it was a 38-year-old South Carolina man who caught her eye. WRAL News has agreed to not identify him.

"His story was he was moving to Chapel Hill and he was staying (there) because he was a contractor (who) did jobs all over the place and worked for himself," Boynton said.

First the pair exchanged texts and calls that led to regular visits.

She says he promised her marriage, kids, a house and "a life with you."

Boynton got pregnant, and the man was scheduled to meet her family on Thanksgiving.

He didn't show up.

She said he had done that before.

"His claim before was he was out of town, or he didn't have cell service, or he was working or really busy," she said.

Boynton figured the relationship had run its course.

"I would text him ... and I didn't hear anything," she recalls.

Then in December, she saw a Facebook post saying the man had died in a car crash in Georgia

Boynton says she received a message online from a woman who said she was engaged to the same man and had also been pregnant with his child.

"She was irate because she saw that I was pregnant with his kid," Boynton said.

Boynton posted under the man's online obituary, asking for other women to contact her.

"That's when I started putting the pieces together," she said.

Several women told Boynton they also had seriously dated the same man at the same time.

"I actually know for a fact he was involved with at least seven of us and possibly more," Boynton said .

Kimberly Azevedo, a therapist, said people who run dating scams have a motive for their behavior.

"People who want attention (and) people who want someone to love them because they don't entirely love themselves," Azevedo said, adding that relationships that start online have potential pitfalls.

"You can't tell the way you would in person whether someone is lying or not," she said.

Azevedo says online daters need to be wary.

"You need to know what you're looking for when you seek a relationship," Azevedo said.

Boynton says she has learned from the experience and offers a warning to others.

"If you feel like you need to question the person about their actions, question it," she said. "If they don't give you a straight answer, question why they're not giving you straight answer because there is a reason behind that."

Boynton said she did run a criminal background check on the man, but he had no social media profiles and she never met his family. Both are red flags.

"I realized it was just a false story," she said. "I didn't see it at the time. It took me, unfortunately until he died to see it."

Azevedo advises daters to follow their instincts.

"Your gut feeling is the most logical thing you're going to have in your life," she said.

Azevedo believes if you're confident and know what you want, online dating can work.

"You can't be seeking someone for external validation," she warns. "You have to be able to validate yourself and love yourself every single day."

Boynton is engaged again and hoping for a brighter future.

"When I started discovering that most everything he was telling me was a lie, that's when I was able to close (the) book on that chapter."