'They don't see the tears:' Mom of child with alopecia says Will Smith's raw emotion understandable
Will Smith could be stripped of his Oscar after he slapped Chris Rock at Academy Awards on Sunday night.
Social media lit up with people sharing their opinions about Smith's actions, and some people see the incident as a small part of a much larger issue – about the need for education and sensitivity for people who have auto-immune disorders like alopecia.
Alopecia is a disease that causes the immune system to attack hair follicles, causing hair loss. It was a joke about Pinkett Smith’s hair loss, delivered by Rock, that Smith blamed for his outburst.
Now, many locals who also have alopecia are speaking out about this larger conversation.
Our state's own Teen Miss Dance NC is a 14-year-old girl from Sanford who has alopecia.
"Ella is a dancer. She wants to break into the entertainment industry one day. What does Chris Rock's joke say for her?" asks her mother, Ashley Wilson.
Wilson agrees Smith should not have hit anyone, and she says she wishes he had used the moment as an opportunity to take the stage and educate Hollywood – and the audience – about the disease.
However, she understands his raw emotional response, pointing out that most people don't understand how emotional and painful the disease can be.
"They don’t see the tears, and the bullying, and the hair literally falling out," she says. "When Ella was younger, and I’d wash her hair, and it would literally fall out in my hands. I’d have to hold back tears."
At just 9 years old, Ella lost all her hair and hosted a 'shaving party' with loved ones. Then, just one week later, she had to take the stage and perform in front of a crowd.
Wilson says it takes courage, and that "Jada was being brave enough to get out there and advocate. There was no need to 'knock her down' with that joke." She says it's very disappointing that Hollywood allowed for such a disparaging comment about someone's appearance.
"If something were said like that in front of my child, in an ugly way, I’d 100% protect her," she said. "That’s the Mama Bear in me."
Wilson says she is hopeful, however, that the incident between Smith and Rock will provide a platform for people to learn about Alopecia Awareness.
"I'm sure people are at home, doing Google searches about alopecia right now," she says. "And I'm glad. We need more education."
Sandra Dubose, a Wake Forest woman who also has alopecia, watched the entire scene play out on her TV.
When she was diagnosed more than two decades ago, she sank into depression.
"Losing your self-esteem, not feeling beautiful," she says. "How much work it takes to feel confident -- especially in Hollywood."
Dubose does not feel Smith's action was chivalrous, however. While Rock's joke was mean-spirited, she does not believe resorting to physical violence was acceptable.
"We're adults here. Use your words," she says.
However, Dubose says Smith's outburst has a sympathetic quality.
"As a woman –– and if that was my man – it's this feeling of 'you defended me.' Who doesn't want to be defended?" she says. "Anybody who's going through something, the people that they love, it hurts them when you hurt their feelings."
The Academy has condemned Smith's actions and has begun a formal review of the incident. Several members of the leadership met virtually Monday to discuss a response. The meeting was described as 'heated' and 'divided.'
Wilson says she doesn't believe violence was the right response, but she gives Smith props for advocating for his wife and understands how emotional he must have been.
"He put himself on a very thin line. It could have cost him a lot – and it could still," she says. "But he advocated for awareness, and props to him. Take care of your family."
Wilson and Dubose both say, if nothing else, they hope this Oscar moment will shine a spotlight on the struggles of alopecia.
