The strength in asking for help: Teaching teens to seek support

As parents, we often encourage our children to be independent, to try things on their own, and to believe in their capabilities.

However, there's a crucial lesson we sometimes forget to emphasize: the importance of asking for help.

Just like toddlers asserting their independence, teens too may resist seeking assistance, seeing it instead as a sign of weakness. But asking for help is actually a powerful skill that cultivates growth, resilience, and stronger relationships.

It’s essential to instill this value in teenagers from a young age.

Many of us, parents included, often perceive that seeking help means we are admitting defeat or inadequacy. However, it's quite the opposite.

It takes courage and self-awareness to recognize when we need assistance and to seek it out. When parents model this behavior, they show teens that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength.

Personally, I've found that asking for help has strengthened and improved my relationships and my connections with family, friends, and colleagues. It evoked a sense of trust within our relationships.

Teens open to seeking help are more likely to cultivate supportive networks and enjoy healthier interactions with peers and authority figures.

The benefits of seeking help

By learning how to ask for help, teens actually receive many benefits:

1. Teens develop emotional intelligence

Asking for help isn't just about assistance with a task; it's also about emotional growth. When parents encourage teens to seek support, they help them develop crucial emotional intelligence skills that will serve them in all areas of life.

Emotional intelligence means having the ability to think about and empathize with how other people are feeling, according to Kendra Cherry, a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist. She shares that emotional intelligence often requires that you consider the feelings of others.

Teens with strong emotional intelligence gain the capability to consider other perspectives, experiences and emotions and then use this information to better understand why people behave the way that they do.

2. Teens learn how to be dedicated

Teens who are willing to request help also demonstrate their dedication and commitment to their goals. Seeking outside assistance shows that they are not afraid to confront challenges head-on and are committed to finding solutions.

This mindset nurtures resilience and a willingness to learn from setbacks.

3. Teens grow their empathy and generosity

By getting help, teens also learn the significance of giving and receiving support, which is an example of peer-to-peer support. This gives them the chance to see friends and family pour into them and provide for them in unexpected ways. These actions teach teens the values of empathy, generosity, and community.

As teens experience the kindness of others, they may be more likely to pay it forward and offer assistance to those in need.

Parents can create supportive environments

In the role of parents, it's essential for us to create a supportive environment for our teens where asking for help is not only accepted but encouraged. There are several ways to create an environment like this.

• Parents can try leading by example to show teens that asking for help is a normal and healthy part of life. Parents can do this by sharing their own experiences of seeking assistance and the positive outcomes it brought.
• Parents can also consider creating clubs and other ways for their teens to find community that they can rely on.
• Cultivate open communication by creating a space where teens feel comfortable discussing their challenges and seeking guidance. This means constructing a nonjudgmental zone where you listen without offering support or solutions.
• From time to time, parents can gently remind teens that everyone needs help sometimes, and there's no shame in reaching out to friends, family, teachers, or counselors for assistance.
• Plus, don’t forget to teach teens confidence. This can be done by teaching them problem-solving skills and encouraging them to tackle each problem with positivity.

For more resources on this, I recommend checking out this article from Nemours Children's Health.

Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength, courage, and self-awareness. By instilling this value in teenagers, we empower them to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace.

So, encourage your teens to speak up, reach out, and embrace the support that surrounds them.

Gale McKoy Wilkins is a Certified Family Life Coach Expert who specializes in teen and parent coaching. Gale also serves as the founder of the nonprofit Family Education Initiative and the family life coaching organization Project Arrow. She is a current member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and Family Life Coaching Association (FLCA). She has a master’s degree in leadership and a graduate certificate in family life coaching, youth, family, and community from North Carolina State University.