Sharing lessons about mind, body, self: Counselor focuses on empowering middle school girls
For Quinandria Lee, it isn’t about the money. It’s about helping others.
Not only is Lee a school counselor, she’s also a licensed therapist and a first-generation college graduate with a master’s degree. For the past several years, she has dedicated herself to helping and empowering young girls.
Up until this year, she worked as the school counselor at Ligon Magnet Middle School in Wake County.
Originally, Lee thought she wanted to work with high schoolers. But after completing an internship at a middle school, Lee knew that’s where she needed to be.
Lee said she felt like she could make more of an impact working with kids in middle school.
“So middle schoolers, they're a hot mess,” she said. "And I love every bit of it."
"I feel like middle school is such an interesting age group and age range because they're going through so much when it comes down to hormones and friendships and discovering self and sexuality and just identity overall."
Lee said she loved being able to support them at such a transitional time in their lives.
"I would tell any young girl entering middle school that middle school will bring a lot of changes in your friends, interests, your body and your mind," she said. "It is normal to struggle. So make sure you have good friends around you and at least two adults that you trust talking to when you have your high and low days.”
Lee was a military kid who moved around a lot when she was younger, so she understands how challenging it can be to go to a school without your friends.
"If you're going to a middle or high school different than your friends, I get it, it's scary to meet new people," she said. "The first day of school, everyone is nervous, everyone is trying to figure out their ‘place’ in this new school. So, you're not alone."
"Be bold, be brave and make at least one friend in one of your classes during the first week of school."
For the past five years, Lee has hosted an empowerment conference at Ligon Magnet Middle School. This past year, she had about 85 girls who took part in the conference.
"We had different sessions on self-care, healthy friendships and relationships, self-esteem and confidence," she said. "And then we also had a team building session as well, just to kind of talk about females coming together because sometimes we can be our worst enemies."
She said the conference also helped the 8th grade girls prepare for high school – guiding them on what to do and what not to do.
"High schoolers, remember when you started middle school?" Lee said. "It was fresh, it was new, it was exciting; high school will be the same thing. You will have the opportunity to make new friends, explore new passions and start to fully come into yourself."
"There is a lot more peer pressure that happens in high school, so make sure you have people around you who have the same interests and values as you and who will always respect your 'no.'"
Lee said if you're struggling with adjusting to middle or high school, reach out to a trusted adult for support.
"Think about your favorite teacher, your school counselor, an adult family member or a therapist," she said. "Transitions can be hard, so don't feel embarrassed if you need a little extra support and love during this time."
Lee has put on that conference for the past five years. She also built her own curriculum to start a girl group at the middle school.
She accepted girls from 6th, 7th and 8th grades – ranging from girls with straight As to girls with disciplinary issues. The 8th grade girls mentor the 6th and 7th grade girls, and the group meets once a week to discuss a variety of issues.
Lee said the group teaches the young girls about leadership and empowerment. The girls partake in community service, weekly group counseling sessions, and the girls also take on leadership roles at the school.
The girls serve as tour guides at the school and help with the afternoon announcements. Lee said this is to help build their confidence, especially when it comes to cultivating leadership skills and public speaking skills.
Lee said she puts them in situations where they can be tested – so they can grow.
"If self-confidence or talking in front of people [is something] you struggle with, you're not really going to get out of that until you're tested," she said. "So let's hear you with someone where you can tour families around the school, right? Let's put you in the afternoon announcement."
"And so them getting over that hurdle of, 'I did it, I didn't think I was going to do it; I was so afraid, but I did it.'"
Lee said it’s about pouring into them but also giving them the opportunities to shock themselves.
Her mission to empower young girls extends beyond Ligon Magnet. Lee also gives other school counselors the tools to implement the same curriculum at their own schools.
She presents at school counselor conferences and gives other counselors the guidelines to implement the program at their own schools.
After this most recent school year, Lee decided to make a career change and is transitioning into a new role as a therapist.
Even though she will no longer work as a school counselor, she hopes to continue holding these conferences in the community.
Therapists can make a decent salary, with some charging more than $100 per session. But Lee isn’t in it for the money; she will be working as a therapist for those who are on Medicaid.
Unfortunately, many people who need professional help are not able to get the help they need because of how expensive therapy is. That’s why Lee is stepping into this new role.
Lee goes where she’s most needed. And, now, that’s out into the community where she can provide mental health services for those who need it most.
