Sarah King: Uncomfortable Lessons
Recently I volunteered to help with a carnival at my son’s elementary school. I signed up to help with the water balloon toss. I was super excited to be a part of such a fun day with my boy. Imagining I’d be playing some of the other games with him, having a great time. What actually happened was I was standing alone, among other parents, standing around awkwardly not really knowing what to do with ourselves as our kids ran in every direction except towards us.
Was I a little naive thinking that my son would want to hang out with me when he had all his friends at school to play with? Sure. But I really didn’t expect how uncomfortable I would feel standing on the playground. I really didn’t feel like making small talk with the other parents. All the events at the carnival were for kiddos, so I couldn’t even get in on that action. Getting out my phone was certainly not an option. I didn’t want to set that example while being outside on a nice afternoon. I just couldn’t figure out what to do with myself.
Being so unnerved by the event got me thinking. Why did I get so triggered? Why did I get so uncomfortable? The answer that I finally came up with was that I felt just like I had felt as a kid in a new place. Kids are always being dragged to places their parents want to go. Places built for adults. They must feel that same level of “what am I supposed to do now?” I remember feeling this way being the new kid at school. Or trying to find a new group of friends to hang with in college. Being in that limbo is so unsettling.
It gave me a new level of empathy for my son. As an adult, I just stood there looking a little lost. I wandered around and watched the other kids play. My son, who is 5, is not so emotionally mature. He would likely act out in a situation like that. I get frustrated with him sometimes when these moments arise. Next time I hope I can channel the feeling I had on his playground when I was in his world. Allow the insight I gained about myself that day to inform how I handle similar situations. I’ll give him a little reassurance. Make contact, a pat on the back or a hug, to let him know he belongs wherever I go too.
My son has taught me a lot of lesson so far on our journey together. EVERYTHING can be made into a game. If you fall down, get back up again and keep trying. There is something fun to do wherever you are. I feel like the older he gets, the more profound the lessons may become. I just have to keep my heart and my mind open!
When Sarah King isn't in carpool, she's on the radio hosting MIX Mornings with Kyle, Bryan, and Sarah.
