Meet this mom: Licensed counselor Ashley Wright

There are a few people in my life that I listen to – like, intently listen – when I experience tough things or need to snag some nuggets of wisdom because I know their feedback will be both trustworthy and actionable. This month’s featured mama is most certainly one of those people. Ashley Wright, a licensed clinical mental health counselor I’ve known more than 12 years, is equal parts kind, smart, calming, wise and generous with her expertise. She’s made time to speak at several past Restored events, and moms always find extreme value in her content. So, when I chose to feature a counselor for this month’s Meet This Mom article, I thought of her right away.

Knowing counseling offices have been jam packed lately (thanks, Covid…), I asked her this: With counseling offices at capacity, what are some good resources women can use to support their own mental health? As expected, she didn’t disappoint. Find her response below (some may even save you money!) along with some fun facts about her family, career journey and her new counseling practice in Holly Springs.

What’s your name, and in what part of the Triangle do you spend most of your time?

My name is Ashley Wright and I spend most of my time in the Holly Springs/Fuquay area and we often visit the nearby cities as a family.

Tell us a little about your family and one activity you enjoy together.

My husband and I have been married eleven years and we have three wonderful children. Our oldest daughter is 8, our middle daughter is 6, and our youngest son is 4-years-old. As a family we love to be outdoors together whether it is enjoying a nature hike, a campfire, the lake or exploring a new area.

Tell us about your career journey and how you ended up in your current position.

In addition to being a mom, I am a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and a new business owner. I recently opened my own practice, Valor Counseling Center, in Holly Springs with the help of my husband. After working with a group practice for almost 8 years, we had been feeling a nudge to work more closely with first responders as we are a Law Enforcement family of 14+ years. In our community of LEO families and frontline connections, we have seen the need for more intentional care for these heroes and their families and we wanted to respond with valor. I personally work with clients from a trauma-focused lens as a Certified EMDR therapist. We are also intentionally and mindfully thinking about the future. Our bigger vision is a local retreat space for first responders to rest at and be poured-into when they need a break from the stresses of work. We hope to provide mental health needs, a quiet and secluded space to process, self-care options, and ways to connect and be encouraged.

What’s your favorite activity to do with your family?

As a family, we love to take cruises!

What do you love about parenting as a working mother?

Parenting as a working mother is a blessing and at times a challenge. I love that my children see me using my gifts and talents each week to help others. They know “mommy is a counselor, and she meets with other people to help them through hard things.” My children often talk about what they want to be one day, and we love encouraging them to dream about it! I also find at times it can be hard to figure out a healthy work-life balance as a working mom. I’m grateful my husband and I are a team, and we both work together to prioritize our faith, marriage and family which makes it so much easier to navigate the hardships and know when to put work on the shelf for a bit.

Tell us about a challenge you’ve overcome as a mother in the workplace.

As a working mother choosing to say “no” was a challenge at first. Boundaries are something almost every counselor will bring up in a counseling session. After having three children and being in a marriage where my husband’s schedule changed constantly, I had trouble knowing my “no” and work added a good amount of stress to my plate. I felt shame that as a counselor, “I should know” how to set boundaries, but I didn’t and it was something I had to learn over time. I had to learn how to love myself better, so I could love others well too.

A big shift and boundary for me was, when I got home from work, my computer was put away and my phone put down, so my children would have full access to me. I wanted to be present because I know this season will go by fast. It made a huge difference to our afternoons as a family.

What are you passionate about outside of work and family?

Outside of work and family, I am passionate about music. I have always loved all types of music and it has been a very large part of my life and faith. I was trained as a classical singer and as a young adolescent it was helpful in building my confidence in a beautiful way. I thoroughly enjoy musical theater productions, ballet, and any opportunity to see performances where music accompanies the gifts of others. I also love to worship with my church community.

What is one book, podcast, article, social media account, blog or other resource you can recommend for moms?

I love all of Henry Cloud’s books on boundaries. I also am enjoying Adam Young’s “The Place We Find Ourselves” which focuses on trauma, attachment wounds and understanding our stories so we can heal. For my first responder folks, I am really loving the First Responder Wellness Group’s resources (located in California).

If you have a favorite go-to spot in the Triangle, what is it? (dining, park, activity, entertainment venue – anything!)

I grew up in Apex, and I just love the path around the lake at Lake Pine! It is very therapeutic. My husband and I also love The Provincial in downtown Apex…so delicious!

With counseling offices at capacity, what are some good resources women can use to support their own mental health…especially when they have to wait an extended amount of time for an appointment?

With counseling offices at capacity, I would recommend the following options:

• Jump on a few waitlists and check-in on the status periodically.
• Join a mental health group. Groups are often on-going, and counseling offices are aware of them in the area...they are a good way to connect.
• Are you updated on your physical? dentist? Need a haircut? Etc.? Go ahead and do some self-care while you wait!
• Join a gym! Studies show that exercise and good eating habits are often just as effective as meds for mild/moderate anxiety/depression. Meds are needed at times, but do consider taking charge of your health, too!
• Join some mental health counselors/speakers on social media - Brene Brown; Dan Allender from the Allender Center (sexual trauma); Gottmans resources (marriage) are some of my favorites.
• Ask a clinician or office for a recommended resource, a possible workbook or self-help book for example.
• Join a church, or find a way to connect to community so you're not isolated.
• Get outside every day for at least 30 minutes.
• Find a life coach. Many life coaches have space for clients and can be more affordable.
• Consider working with a counseling intern.

Stephanie Llorente is a mother of two children and a regular WRAL Family contributor. She owns Prep Communications and Restored, a community for career-minded mothers who care deeply about faith and family.