How to know if adoption is right for you

This article was written for our sponsor, Children's Home Society of North Carolina.

Making the decision to bring a child into your life through adoption is one that likely isn't taken lightly. Deciding whether or not adoption is right for you is a process that may take weeks, months, or years of research to determine.

It's important that you get answers to your questions, so you can be comfortable with whatever path you choose. Here are a few questions to ask yourself, as you decide if adoption is right for you.

Why do I want to adopt?

Clarifying your hopes for adoption will help you determine if it is a healthy choice for you and the child. For example, if you want to adopt to help strengthen a faltering marriage, the focus is on you, not the child, and adoption is not the right choice.

"Take into consideration that you are there to meet the needs of the child, and the child isn't there to meet the needs of you," said Darius Moore, a family recruitment specialist with the Children's Home Society of North Carolina.

Children may come from traumatic situations, so you shouldn't expect them to fit a mold, said Moore. No matter their background, all children in the foster care and adoption system have the right to a safe home where they are respected and cherished.

Am I flexible?

According to Moore, when it comes to foster care and adoption, the most successful families are flexible.

"Ask yourself: 'How flexible am I?'" said Moore. "What are my non-negotiables when it comes to having children placed into my home?"

Taking care of a child is time-consuming, involving everything from driving to school, to team practices and games, to friends' houses, and to medical appointments, as well as spending quality time together as a family or one-on-one if you have more than one child.

In addition to flexibility with time, potential adopters should also think about financial flexibility. Not only does adoption itself come with a cost, but having a child adds expenses like medical visits, clothes, toys, and savings for the future. While you don't need to be wealthy to adopt a child, you should make sure you have the proper funds to give them a safe and comfortable home.

What is my age preference?

Are you looking to adopt a baby, a teen or an age in between? Adopting a baby may mean waiting while the child is in the foster care system until a court has terminated the birth parents' parental rights.

Adopting an older child may mean dealing with issues in the child's background, but you could welcome a child into your home sooner and will be able to enjoy the personality traits your child has already developed.

When it comes to age preference, there is no right answer, and you should carefully weigh what makes the most sense for you and your household.

What are the steps in the adoption process?

• You must meet local requirements before you can bring a child into your home. According to Moore, this includes:
• You must be at least 21 years old.
• You must be a North Carolina resident for at least 6 months before applying.
• You must have adequate space for a child, regardless of whether you rent or own your home.
• You must have access to reliable transportation.
• You must have enough income to cover your family needs without government assistance.
• You may not have a history of violent crimes.

Once you're ready to adopt, you'll fill out an application, meet with a specialist and complete training and a home assessment. After you're approved, you'll have a visit with the child and people in the child's life before bringing the child home and receiving a decree of adoption.

Where can I turn for help?

The Children's Home Society offers many educational resources, as well as a variety of ongoing supports for parents with adopted children. You can also meet with an adoption specialist to ask questions and determine if adoption is right for you.

This article was written for our sponsor, Children's Home Society of North Carolina.