How one woman found family with her 12 foster children

This article was written for our sponsor, Children's Home Society of North Carolina.

Ashley Striblin began working with the Children's Home Society of North Carolina about three years ago, when she acted on a lifelong goal of becoming a foster parent.

"Before I became a latchkey kid, I would stay with a lady in the neighborhood who was also a foster parent," said Striblin. "A lot of my friends in elementary school ended up being foster children. She started my love for helping provide structure and guidance for kids who don't have that."

The Children's Home Society is a private organization that provides the community with education and prevention programs, family preservation programs, foster care, adoption services, and advocacy services. It works with the Department of Health and Human Services to provide support for the emotional and physical needs of children and families throughout North Carolina.

Striblin feels the support from CHS for foster children and their foster families.

"If I have a specific concern about a child, I have someone who provides a buffer for me," she said.

Over the past three years, Striblin has cared for 12 foster children, each staying anywhere from one night to eight months. That's because Striblin does both long-term and respite care fostering, the latter of which offers other foster parents the chance to take a break for a few days. Striblin also offers a temporary safe place for children who are waiting to be reunited with their families of origin or matched with permanent adoptive families..

One child, for example, was in respite care, because she had been suspended from school, and her foster parents worked during the day. The girl liked Striblin so much that she got suspended the next week so she could come back to visit.

In addition to short-term care, Striblin also has experience with children who stay a little longer. In one instance, she had two sisters two years apart in age that stayed for six months, who she referred to as her "babies."

"Once they're in my house, they become my children — they become my babies," said Striblin. "I have a picture gallery of all of my babies, and I try to keep up with them after they go back home."

No matter how long children stay with Striblin, she never loses sight of the goal to eventually reunify them with their parents. She reaches out to biological parents and invites them to co-parent with her in what is called "shared parenting."

"When a new child comes into the home, I try to build a relationship with their biological family, as well," said Striblin. "The perspective I like to take is if you can influence the parents, guess how much better the relationship is going to be when the kids get to be reunited with them."

Striblin cultivated a relationship with the mother of the two sisters who lived with her for six months, which led to Striblin being one of the first calls when the mother got her first apartment. Striblin even helped decorate the girls' new rooms in their mother's home and lent a hand in throwing their birthday parties.

Despite some of the difficulties of fostering, Striblin says it keeps her young, for the most part — although the gray hairs she had developed are jokingly named after her foster kids. While fostering comes with challenges, Striblin values every second of it. Seeing the children's desire to be loved, she can't help but love them back.

"They're so quick to forgive and easy to teach, and some of the things you give them when they leave your home, they'll take with them," said Striblin. "That's your legacy."

This article was written for our sponsor, Children's Home Society of North Carolina.