Don't say picky eater: Raleigh mom creates TikTok channel to help mealtime struggles

Jessica Mancinik, a Raleigh mother of two, has her dream job working as a speech language pathologist and feeding behavior specialist at Duke University Hospital.

Mancinik helps patients with dysphasia or swallowing difficulties and works with new parents struggling to bottle feed their babies, especially infants born premature. She also works with children with autism, Down syndrome or food allergies who struggle with textures, flavors and expanding their diets.

Now she's on TikTok, helping families everywhere struggling with "picky eaters." It was Mancinik's husband, Kirk, who encouraged her to reach out to parents on social media, and Hangry Helper was born.

It took some trial and error, but Mancinik dipped her toes in the TikTok world, and in only a few months she garnered more than 100,000 followers. It turns out her super-short captioned videos, most of which star her own children, 4-year-old Jackson and 1-year-old Holly, were just what parents needed.

Mancinik began receiving messages of thanks from parents, caregivers, daycare workers and even adults struggling with a limited diet.

"It's given them like a more positive viewpoint. It's eliminated mealtime fights and struggles," she said. "It's overwhelming in a really great way, and it's just so nice to know that I can help people."

Since its inception in April, Hangry Helper has expanded. Mancinik recorded a 1-hour virtual lesson, where she outlines her best advice for helping children improve their diets. Parents can also sign up for 45-minute one-on-one consultations with Mancinik to review their child's specific needs and come up with a plan.

Every parent has struggled with a picky eater, although Mancinik recommends parents avoid that wording, especially with children. In fact, her entire feeding philosophy is based on creating a positive, stress-free meal environment where children can try new foods without pressure or expectations.

Tips for picky eaters

I asked Mancinik to share her five best tips. These are geared toward toddlers and young children but can be modified for any age.

1. When serving your child a new or unfamiliar food, offer a ridiculously small portion. "Smaller than you think," Mancinik explained. "It feels really weird, but visually it's way less overwhelming."
2. Use fun utensils as age allows. Toothpicks can be used to skewer bite-sized fruits and vegetables, and small cookie cutters can be used to serve foods in fun shapes. Make food visually appealing and easy to eat. Instead of cutting apples or carrots into slices, use a cheese grater to shred them.
3. Give children the power of a choice. Example: Do you want broccoli or asparagus on your plate tonight?
4. Encourage kids to interact with food. "Looking, touching, smelling, kissing, licking, tapping it on our teeth -- those are all ways to gradually allow our children to feel more comfortable with this brand new food," Mancinik said.
5. Never force a child to try a food. "I remind my kids all the time that they do not have to eat it," Mancinik said. "I know our end game is to eat it, but maybe we're not there yet."

Any new food is good food

Of course parents should introduce healthy food, but the goal starting out is to introduce variety. "I do think fruits, vegetables and healthy, fresh items are a goal, but it's not the only goal," Mancinik said. "Any new food is a good food."

This is especially helpful advice for parents with limited time to chop fresh fruits and vegetables or prepare homecooked meals.

"Canned vegetables are great for younger kids because they're super mashable," Mancinik said. "Frozen veggies are great too, because you can steam them, and they're great for younger kids. Strawberry jam is not something we would think of [as healthy], but if they add that to their diet that's an amazing accomplishment."

Table manners will become important later in life, but when dealing with toddlers or others who struggle to eat a variety of foods, the goal is simply to get them to try new things.

"It's an older school thought to not play with your food, but it is kind of what I'm suggesting here," Mancinik said.

In one of her videos, Mancinik explains how to introduce a child to salad. She places the smallest leaf of romaine lettuce on her son's plate with a small pool of dressing he already enjoys. She encourages him to lick the lettuce and dip it in the dressing. You can also serve a new or non-preferred food with a comfortable favorite, like a chicken nugget, to create that no-stress meal environment.

Mancinik believes you should never use negative language about food or force a child to eat something. Instead, offer it at different times. It can take 20 times to expose a child to a food before they accept it, Mancinik said.

"That's a frustrating part of feeding therapy, is the progress is really slow," Mancinik said. "Sometimes it's very much a rollercoaster. But allowing them to learn about broccoli at their pace and consistently offering that food in a very low pressure environment is only gonna benefit them."

Hang in there - you're doing great

Parents often blame themselves for their child's picky eating or other behavioral issues, but Mancinik says give yourself a break.

"It's really easy to put blame on yourself for anything that's like deviated from the path you want your child to be on," she said. "So many of my parents blame themselves, saying I should have done more of this, or they used to eat this, and now they don't and I don't know why. I want so badly for everybody to understand children are just,going to be who they're going to be. There's no point in placing blame on yourself -- it truly is not your fault."

Mancinik, who is used to seeing families experience all kinds of struggles, went on to say, "The less stressed out you can feel as a parent, the less stressed your child is going to be. This shall pass. Picky eating can be a long one. It's hard to wrap your mind around, especially when you're reminded of it at every meal."

You can sign up for a course or view more Hangry Helper videos online.