The balancing act: Safety versus isolation

Last Friday, when NC was supposed to enter Phase 3 of opening up, instead with the significant recent rise in cases and hospitalizations, the more restrictive Phase 2 was continued. Disappointment would be an understatement. When pausing on a dog walk in front of the home of one of the most socially connected seniors in my neighborhood, he called from his porch, “I think I’m experiencing PTSD.”

We have all been living in a state of suspension for three and a half months now and many public health experts anticipate the need for social distancing measures to continue for at least another twelve, if not more.

With little social contact and limited outings, I have seen first-hand many of my older clients and friends decline physically and cognitively, particularly those in congregate settings, like Independent and Assisted Living or Memory Care, where field trips out, having visitors in, group activities and even communal dining have been discontinued or heavily restricted.

Geriatrician Leslie Kernisan, in a recent podcast, discussed balancing risk reduction with our senior’s very real social needs. After all, even before the coronavirus, many public health experts said that social isolation was the public health crisis of the decade. Combine that with mandatory quarantines and social distancing and the situation is compounded.

Some seniors have thrown up their hands and thrown caution to the wind, heading out grocery shopping during non-senior hours and inviting grandkids and neighbors in, while others have taken the opposite route. Their home has become a vault.

There is no perfect solution, but there may be a wise middle ground, especially if armed with accurate, not only alarmist, information--most importantly on ways to connect socially and safely.

It is perhaps of some comfort to know that in a survey of studies published on Nature.com, research found that the proportion of infected people who will die as a result of the disease, is significantly lower than initially estimated: as low as 0.6% in the general population and 5.6% in the population 65 and older, with the majority of those deaths occurring among the oldest and frailest in nursing homes.

We know that social distancing and wearing a mask can greatly reduce risk. While it can feel excruciating to not hug a grandchild for months on end, we are learning that we can still emotionally connect with them by phone, text, Zoom or in-person, from a distance.

While we feel desperate to get out of our homes and on the road, we also know that, as Neurologist Jill Bolte Taylor found, emotions can pass in as short as 90 seconds, unless one feeds them. Something as simple as lacing up your tennis shoes and donning a masks and heading on a walk around the block, mindful of passersby, can defuse those pent up feelings.

Some seniors have set times when neighbors set up chairs on someone's lawn or a cul-de-sac or with simply another couple to socialize, again with masks and at a distance--perhaps bringing one's own beverages.

The Y has started taking it's classes to outdoor settings where seniors can sit or stand at appropriate distances from classmates and get some exercise and socialization.

There are even virtual ways to continue volunteering -- some low tech (like letter-writing ministries) and some higher tech (like tutoring online).

In a popular talk I give for seniors called "Living to the edge of the frame, even as the frame narrows," I tell stories of seniors I've met who have come up with ingenious ways of continuing to live fully even as their physical abilities decline. It's not a far leap to apply that mindset to the constraints of these times.

Please email me your stories and I may feature them!