Helping kids as she helps their working parents; a Raleigh business owner offers guided stillness

Cole Baker-Bagwell has navigated plenty of ups and downs. She's built a successful company, worked through a divorce and returned to the corporate world during the 2008 financial crisis, only to find she had joined a toxic workplace.

"Those days were super rough. I went from working on my own schedule doing work I absolutely adored, to working in a cube, doing mindless work and being micromanaged by a manager who valued metrics more than anything else," said Baker-Bagwell, mom of one son and a bonus daughter. "Some days, I drove to work and drove home, sobbing."

A practicing yogi for a decade, Baker-Bagwell found relief in mindfulness and yoga. Eventually, she was able to move on to healthier workplaces where she saw the power of kindness in business. "I began to understand that mindfulness had a place in business and that kindness is transformative," she says.

Last year, she launched Cool Audrey, a business that works with companies to cultivate kindness in how they operate. In recent months, she's noticed the stress levels of her clients and those around them, including their kids, as they grappled with the pandemic. So, she partnered with Dix Conservancy to create a “guided stillness” for kids ages 10 and under. This guided stillness exercise takes young children on a hot air ballon journey while allowing them to use their imagination, focus on their breathing and have a few minutes of calm. The recording is a part of Dix Parks virtual wellness programing. She's also recorded a guided stillness for adults to help combat stress.

I checked in with Baker-Bagwell to learn more about what she does and her guided stillness for kids. Here's a Q&A.

Go Ask Mom: You're all about bringing mindfulness to the workplace in your day job. Tell us about Cool Audrey. What's it all about?

Cole Baker-Bagwell: I always tell people that Cool Audrey chose me. I'm just here to breathe life into her. My work is quite simply about cultivating the best in business by leading with kindness. Kindness has long been considered a "soft skill" taught (barely) in training rooms. I say, there's nothing soft about it. Kindness changes everything. It changes people, the way they show up, the way they work and the way they work together. It's irrefutably magical.

Leading business with kindness is not easy. That's largely because of habits, mindsets and narratives people have adopted about work that don't serve us well. Those things get in the way of great business. People have to be aware of where they are before they can make shifts to lead with kindness. That kind of awareness requires that they slow down. Mindfulness is the path to getting there. So, Cool Audrey is about reminding companies that people do business. It's about weaving kindness and mindfulness into business to ignite and discover the best in people inside of companies. Finally, Cool Audrey is about partnering with companies to offer objective insight and mindful, relevant practices that enable them to maximize the very best in the business they do.

GAM: We're living in challenging times, and we all could use a little stillness in our lives. Tell us about the guided stillness exercise you just launched for kids.

CB-B: My kids are in their 20s now, but I work with plenty of clients who have little people at home. From the very first day of quarantine, I knew everything about business would change as people juggled between worlds. I anticipated the challenges they would face as they moved their work into their homes while trying to strike balance between family, virtual classrooms, work demands and a global pandemic that brought with it a massive amount of uncertainty. Then I thought about all of the little people and the way their lives had changed too. I realized they were experiencing the very same types of major shifts in their lives. That pulled at my heart. I began thinking about ways I could help them as I worked with their parents.

As I made shifts in the Cool Audrey delivery model, the kids started showing up more frequently on the video calls. Many of them stuck around for the first few minutes, which my clients call the "magic time." I started thinking about all of the research I've studied over the last 26 years around the positive impacts of breathing and mindfulness on the nervous system and the countless benefits to overall well-being. I understood that the kids needed those things every bit as much as their parents. I realized if I could influence my clients and their kids through my work, I could help them create a more peaceable kingdom. I realized I could help them all navigate the changes with higher degrees of intention, understanding, kindness and calm. I knew that if I could make it fun for them to sit still for a few minutes, they just might develop a habit of sitting still and breathing because it feels good. So, I sat down and recorded my first "Young Friends" guided stillness.

GAM: For parents who are trying something like this out with their own squirmy kids for the first time, what tips do you have? Not perfection, I'm guessing!

CB-B: Kids are fabulously squirmy because they are figuring out the world around them with intense curiosity, at warp speed. My biggest tips are:

1. Make it fun! Consider creating a special place for stillness. It just may become a place they love so much that they choose to hang out there more often.

2. Be patient. If they get up after a few minutes, don't sweat it. (Many adults I work with have the same struggle at first.) Ask your kids what they experienced, what they loved. That recognition will motivate them to sit longer the next time.

3. Feed their curiosity. Kids love to learn. Consider connecting them with the magical things that are happening when they choose to "sit" and breathe. (That understanding will help them develop a habit that will serve them well throughout their lives.)

GAM: How are you staying sane right now? What's working for you?

CB-B: My sanity is rooted in the choices I make. I practice what I preach, one easy breath at a time. I move through every moment of my day mindfully and with intention. First thing every day, I breathe and sit in a place of earnest gratitude. I focus on everything I take in. I get outside in the fresh air and I exercise. I tell my family I love them, pet my dogs and play with the tortoise. I putter barefoot in our garden and I stop to smell whatever is blooming. I limit the amount of news I consume and I have a hard start and stop time to my work day. I connect with purpose and I focus on all of the amazing things that are coming out of this challenging time. Humanity is rising. We are kinder and better than we were before. As a world, we are at the pinnacle of kindness. Acknowledging those things builds my perspective and mindset that keep me feeling centered, grateful and strong.

Go Ask Mom features local moms every Monday.