4 tips to help you slow down this holiday season

I am writing this as we speed into the holiday season and I look at my calendar with overwhelm. I have a to-do list that is too long, a schedule that is too packed, a wallet that is overextended, and a family that is struggling to reconnect in the midst of all of the busyness.

So, on that note, let’s talk about slowing down…

Our bodies and minds need space to slow down as the winter season’s darker days inherently call us to hibernate cozily while awaiting the renewal of spring. There are many traditions in other countries, such as hygge in Denmark, Gezellilgheid in the Netherlands, Gemutlichkeit in Germany, and Mys in Sweden, just to name a few, that focus on this concept, especially during this time of year.

So, why are we so easily drawn to overfill our lives with contradictions to this calling during this time of year?

Research shows that overworking and overtaxing ourselves can lead to major health problems, ranging from cardiovascular issues to depression. We often think that the busier we are, the more we are getting done. When we experience busyness, we might feel anxiety, or even panic that our time is scarce. As a result, our minds can experience what behavioral researchers call “cognitive tunneling” where we are only able to concentrate on the most immediate and often low-value tasks.

Social media offers a lot of fodder to fill this need. For example, instead of getting that big task done (i.e. finishing our holiday shopping) we find ourselves scrolling instagram for an hour, even when we are at our busiest. This, in turn, only adds to our stress because we have not finished what we set out to do and now we have even less time to do it.

Tunneling and busyness can not only waste time, but lead us to lose sight of our long-term goals.

On the other hand, numerous studies show that slowing down has numerous health benefits. Not only does it help our creativity, it can also make us more productive, and help us retain more information, including memories that we want to hold on to, especially during this time of year. When we slow down, our brains have time to rest and digest. Then, when we come out of the downtime, we are able to access learning faster and take on more information in a deeper way.

So, how can we, together, slow down more this holiday season? Here are a few tips I am going to try, and I invite you to join me.

1. Set boundaries and stick to them.

Your family time is precious. Ahead of time, set parameters as a family around the time you want to spend time together. Be specific about days and times that it is important for you to be only with your family. Then, guard that time by setting boundaries with others in your lives. Say no to the gatherings that infringe on that precious time and then don’t worry so much about what others think. Therapist and writer Nedra Glover Tewwab writes in her book Set Boundaries, Find Peace, “Focusing on how others might respond is one way we ruminate, which impacts our ability to act.”

So, say no and be okay with it. You can be kind while being honest.

2. Set your own traditions and start small.

Try listening to a holiday record, reading a book, or trying a new food together. When setting a new tradition, focus on activities that will deepen your family connection. Discuss and think about what will bring your family closer during this time, and offer you all a bit of respite to rejuvenate your souls. No need to do anything too big, small traditions are often the sweetest.

3. Know that good enough is good enough.

If you are like me, your default is to go into a situation with high expectations. Baking Christmas cookies with my kids can turn into a stressful situation that causes them to walk away in a huff and me doing all the decorating on my own, disappointed that it wasn’t the bonding experience I had hoped it would be (or had seen on Instagram.)

When we let go of perfectionism, and let good enough be good enough, we are able to enjoy the experience and all that it brings. The mess of flour leads to laughter, the spray of icing leads to innovative holiday creations, and the experience births a tradition that everyone wants to come back to. Remember that it is often in our imperfections that we are the best role models for our children, and when we embrace all of who we are, we are teaching them to do the same.

4. Delegate.

As parents, especially as moms, we often take on all of the responsibilities ourselves. Who has time for all of that! Last week I had the daunting task of deep cleaning the house. I was dreading it. As I began moving throughout the house picking up, my 6 year old daughter asked if she could help out. We worked out a plan where we would split the duties (she was especially excited about mopping) and before you knew it, the whole family, even our 4 year old, was working together. I clung to point #3 (see above) knowing that the kids might miss spots and I experienced a sense of pride I had not ever felt as we all worked together towards a common goal. Delegating won’t always lead to perfection, but when we give each other grace, we can enjoy the journey so much more.

Emily is a mother of two who lives in Chatham County. She is the Founder and CEO of Growga, a research-based mindfulness curriculum platform for caregivers and youth development professionals. Sign up for Mindful Mondays to receive FREE weekly tips and mindfulness activities for youth. Find out more and sign up for a trial of the Collective at www.mygrowga.com.