Ask an expert: Tips for kindergarten and advice for nervous parents
Starting elementary school can be scary -- for children and their parents. We asked an expert for the best tips for kindergarten parents.
Emily W. King, Ph.D, a graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, is a child psychologist and former school psychologist. She now has two Wake County students of her own, in 4th and 10th grades.
Tips for kindergarten parents
King said preparing children for a new routine is one of her best tips for kindergarten parents and families getting ready for the big transition to elementary school.
“When a child is transitioning from home, daycare or pre-K into an elementary classroom, we absolutely want to prepare them for a routine prior to that first week of school,” she said.
Explore a new school before the first day
Most students will attend an open house to meet their teachers before the first day of school, but King recommends parents go one step further. If you can, take your child to play on the playground at their new school. You can also drive through what will be the carpool or bus line or explore the hallways.
It’s all about getting kids comfortable with their surroundings.
“I always encourage families to go play on the playground at your local elementary school, get familiar with the surroundings, drive through the parking lot, point out things in the school even before the school building opens,” King said. “These are all things that help kids form those connections to the building and the people.”
Identify a ‘safe person’ at school
To feel comfortable at school, kids should know how to identify the adults they can trust.
King encourages families to teach kids that, just like a parent or other guardian is a child’s “safe person” at home, their teachers will be their safe people at school.
“We want kids to start understanding emotionally that they're going to have a home family and a school family,” King said.
Kids who attended daycare or preschool may already understand how to trust another adult. But if your rising kindergartner has never been to school before, compare it to visiting a grandparent’s house or a friend’s house – anytime they found another adult to trust.
“Identifying the safe people they can trust to go to for help often buffers that anxiety they may have about separation,” King said.
Prioritize your child’s health and happiness
Many parents get caught up in preparing their child academically for elementary school, but King said something else is more important.
“I always encourage rising kindergarten parents to not stress about the academics. Think about getting your child comfortable with school, comfortable with the routine, comfortable with the people,” King said.
At least one week before school starts, get used to a regular bedtime routine, and make sure your child has time for breakfast in the morning.
It’s incredibly important for kids to get good sleep, to get good nutrition and to get enough movement, King added. “Those are all the things that make it really capable for a child's brain to be ready to learn.”
Make preparing for back-to-school exciting, and find ways to build your child’s confidence and boost their mood. When school begins, prioritize time for play dates with new friends and remember family game nights or walks are important in addition to homework.
“All of the academic skills come later on,” King said of preparing for kindergarten. “We're not worried about those at first. We are thinking about emotional regulation, rest, and confidence – keeping your child feeling connected to the people around them who are going to be new people in their life.”
Advice for nervous parents
“Just like we talk to our kids about their home family and their school family, you are about to open up your heart and trust some new people in your child's life,” King said.
Her best advice for parents looking to calm their nerves? Make a real effort to get to know your child's teacher.
“Ask them how you can help, whether it's volunteering your time or donating supplies to the classroom,” King said.
Don’t be afraid to ask your teacher questions. After that, it’s time to trust.
“Part of this is trusting that they know what they're doing,” King said. “All kindergarten teachers know [kindergarten] is about a child emotionally feeling safe at school, playing and feeling connected."
If a child is unhappy or feels unsafe at school, it will be harder for them to learn. That’s why parents and teachers should both work to provide nurturing home and school environments.
“In order to do that, you have to be comfortable, because our kids pick up on our own emotions. So if you're feeling anxious, talk to a friend, talk to your therapist … talk to anyone to help yourself feel comfortable and trusting of the adults that you're going to be entrusting with your child,” King said.
How to communicate with teachers
Some parents hold back, worried their teachers are too busy to talk about their children. Instead, focus on communicating with your child’s teacher clearly and concisely.
King said your teacher or school should let you know if there is a concern with your child. Most likely, if you don’t hear anything, your child is doing well in the classroom.
“I've always felt like no news is good news,” King said.
If you’re still concerned that your teacher needs to know something about your child, get in touch. King said parents of neuro divergent children, such as those with autism, sometimes give teachers a “cheat sheet” to teach them about their child – their interests, their attention span or what helps them feel comfortable.
“Those are all things that help children succeed early on in a kindergarten classroom and teachers want to know that information,” King said. “So sharing some of those things in just a short list to your teacher can be helpful.”
More tips for kindergarten
- All about kindergarten: How to prepare your child and what to expect
- Three ways to know if your child is ready for Pre-K or kindergarten
- Too hot? A guide to treating fever in children
- Kindergarten: 9 tips to make drop off easier for reluctant kindergartners
- 4 activities to get this year's preschoolers ready for kindergarten next year
