Amanda Lamb: Thanks for asking

She’s doing great, thanks for asking!

Once your children are out in the world, the question most people ask you is: “How is she doing?”
Sometimes, this is merely just a courtesy, a polite question people ask in routine conversation. But at other times, it is done with a tilt of the head, and maybe a little nod as if to say: Is she really doing okay?

I get the latter a lot because I have one daughter living in New York City which is apparently a very frightening thought to some people. However, in my opinion there is no “safe place” on earth. Once your kids leave home, you worry about them no matter where they are. If the recent incidents of mass shootings and violence are any indication, there is no guarantee anymore of safety anywhere in the world. My daughter is smart and aware. She knows New York City and is confident about navigating it safely. So, in answer to the question: She’s doing great, thanks for asking!

My other daughter is enrolled in an intense undergraduate dual degree program at a very challenging university. Is it tough? Absolutely. Are some days harder than others? Of course. But she’s working hard and managing to have some fun. She and I are in constant communication and I visit both of my daughters often. So, in answer to the question: She’s doing great, thanks for asking!

Sometimes, as parents, I think we don’t realize just how weighted our questions about other people’s children can sound depending on the tone. Obviously, if you’re very close friends with someone and you’ve shared something that indicates things are not fine, the nature of the question might be within the proper context. But if you’re just on a fishing expedition for bad news, it’s probably not going to go over well.

Parenting doesn’t stop when the kids leave the nest. I’m told it goes on forever. It transcends seasons, miles and extends well into adulthood. I am navigating these changes along with my children. And for the moment, I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job, thanks for asking!

Amanda is a mom of two and an author of several books including some on motherhood. She is also a WRAL reporter and successful podcaster. She began writing Go Ask Mom columns in January 2010 and took a short break in late 2021. Now, you can find her posts monthly on Go Ask Mom.