Amanda Lamb: Sisters
The longest relationship you will have in your life is with your siblings – not your spouse, not your parents, not your children, statistically, that is. As parents, it is up to us to help nurture and cultivate the relationships between our children as they grow into adulthood. This is important because we want them to take care of each other when we are gone.
My daughters are 3 1/2 years apart. They played together when they were young, they clashed as adolescents. One neat daughter, the other messy, shared a bathroom is teenagers. This was a recipe for more confrontations. But as they got older, I started to notice a bonding that transcended their differences. They especially bonded when we went on vacation and had no one else to turn to, and when they were collectively mad at us.
I recently went to visit my daughter at college and took her and her friends out for a day of fun as a college graduation gift. When my younger daughter heard about the trip, she immediately wanted to go and surprise her sister. At first, I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea or bad idea. Would I be invading my older daughter's special day by having my younger daughter come? Or, would she be excited that her sister wanted to be part of it and was willing to take a train 10 hours round trip from Philadelphia to surprise her for less than 48 hours.
I decided we would go for it. I made up a ruse about having to go to the train station in Charlottesville to pick up an old friend from college. My older daughter stood away from the platform staring at her phone, bored and annoyed by the interruption of our evening. As soon as I spotted my younger daughter, we hid behind a column, and then she ran through the crowd to hug her sister.
It was clear to me that my older daughter was excited and touched by the surprise. I had imagined that my younger daughter would stay at the hotel with me, but she ended up staying at her sister’s apartment so they could spend the most amount of time together.
We all had a great weekend – lots of laughter and hugs. As an empty nester, any time spent with my girls, especially all of us together, is magical for me. But this weekend had the extra tenor of a blossoming adult friendship between my girls that I am in awe of. They are very different, but they support each other, and protect each other, and I know they will always be there for each other.
Next year, my older daughter will be in New York and my younger one will be in Philadelphia. They will be just a short train ride apart. I can’t wait to see how they continue to grow into what I hope will be their longest and best lifetime relationship. And if I’m very lucky, sometimes, they will invite me to join them!
Amanda is a mom of two and an author of several books including some on motherhood. She is also a WRAL reporter and successful podcaster. She began writing Go Ask Mom columns in January 2010 and took a short break in late 2021. Now, you can find her posts monthly on Go Ask Mom.
