Amanda Lamb: Mothers unite

My longtime friend of 20-plus years had a disturbing experience last week that needs to be shared. As a mother, as her friend, I am outraged by it. As a human being, I’m so terribly sad.

Her Black college-age daughter was exercising, walking about a mile and a half from her home in the middle of the afternoon, taking a break from her online classes. Suddenly, she noticed a car next to her with white teenage boys inside. They rolled down the window. At that moment, she knew something was about to happen. And she was right. They yelled at her, honked the horn, and threw handfuls of napkins covered in ketchup at her.

When she told her mother, she said she didn’t want to make a big deal about about it. She just wanted her mother to know about it. Her mother was understandably horrified. This is their community, the place they made a home for their family, the place where they raised and educated three amazing young adults. How could this happen here? How could this happen anywhere?

When we talked about it, I initially was so focused on finding the boys, telling their parents what they had done. Let’s fix this was my first reaction.

But with that reaction, I lost the thread of what really needs to happen. Its not about finding and punishing these particular kids—although, I would still love to facilitate that. But it's about turning around a way of thinking. These boys had a belief, maybe from their families, maybe from their community, who knows, that this behavior was OK. And that belief, bottom line, is that this girl doesn't belong here.

It’s time for mothers of all colors to agree that we need to protect everyone’s children. This particular child grew up playing with my children. I’ve known her since she was a baby. But I would feel exactly the same way if it was someone’s daughter that I didn’t know.

I don’t pretend have all of the answers. But I’m listening and I’m ready as a parent, as a mother to say we all have to be part of the solution of healing our communities. It starts in our own families—what you teach your children. Then it extends to your neighborhood, your church, your school, your office. We have to try, because, if we don’t, it's our children who will pay the price.

Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including some on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.