Family

Alzheimer's: Paying homage, a light for remembrance

I am very excited that Dementia Alliance NC is bringing back the Candlelight Reflections this year.

Posted 2023-11-07T17:23:55+00:00 - Updated 2023-11-09T12:30:00+00:00

Andrea’s daughter came up with the idea of setting flowers from her Nana’s funeral on the pond near her house in a ritual to say goodbye.

Andrea Osborne

, CBC Corporate Director of Content

I have attended many events dedicated to Alzheimer’s over the years. One of the most meaningful is an annual ceremony hosted by Dementia Alliance of NC (formerly known as Alzheimer’s NC). November is National Alzheimer’s Month and National Caregiver’s Month and for many years DANC held Candlelight Reflections, to honor those with dementia, remember those who had passed, and to embrace the families and caregivers.

I began attending in the early years of Mom’s diagnosis. At first, I worried I might find it overwhelming. Attending this quiet ceremony, I was acutely aware that there is no cure for Alzheimer’s; it is a fatal diagnosis.

But from the first one I attended, I found Candlelight Reflections profound and helpful. I remember standing in the chill air by the waterfall on the State Fairgrounds over a decade ago. An apt location, the waterfall is dedicated to Helen Kirk Graham, the wife of legendary North Carolina Agriculture Commissioner Jim Graham. She lived with Alzheimer’s and her husband lovingly cared for her until her death in 1999.

Candlelight Reflections has been held in different locations over the years but the impact and meaning for me has been the same. We all hold candles and pass around a flame, or in some years have had battery operated votives. I stand among strangers, and a few friends I have made over time, with a shared bond.

Andrea and her Mom participated on Team Shirley for several years in the Dementia Alliance of NC (formerly known as Alzheimer’s NC) annual walk.

Over the years the location changed, but the remembrances shared by those who had recently lost loved ones to dementia always touched and heartened me. And then the pandemic happened, and the event became another casualty.

I am very excited that Dementia Alliance NC is bringing back the Candlelight Reflections this year. The night will be especially meaningful to me because this will be my opportunity to reflect on Mom’s full journey, to remember and honor her and the long, hard road she walked with Alzheimer's. Even when this awful disease took so much of who she was, my mother’s ability to endear others to her endured.

As I approach the one-year mark for my mom’s passing, at this year’s Candlelight Reflections I will now join the numbers of people who have lost their loved ones to dementia. It’s a place I have long known was coming but that does not make it easier.

I am particularly happy that another one of my idols in the world of dementia advocacy will be a crucial part of this event.

Laura Gaddis opened Guardian Angel Thrift in Fuquay-Varina over 20 years ago, as a tribute to her mother, whom she lost to dementia. Laura set a modest goal, hoping to raise $500 per year to fund dementia research. A little over 2 decades later, she has raised over $3 million to fund dementia research and provide respite for families with loved ones with dementia.

Andrea had the privilege of seeing Laura Gaddis receive the Order of the Long Leaf Pine at the Governor’s Mansion in May 2016.

I was honored to get to watch Laura receive the Order of the Long Leaf Pine from the Governor in May 2016. The state’s highest honor, the order is reserved for “for persons who have made significant contributions to the state and their communities through their exemplary service and exceptional accomplishments.” Laura has done that in spades.

Like my mom, Laura’s Mom lived for 12 years with Alzheimer’s. Even though we were at different places on journey, I have always felt love and admiration for how Laura chose to face her loss by making a positive difference for others.

This year’s Candlelight Reflections will take place in the parking lot of Guardian Angel Thrift, and I am looking forward to the expanded concept for awareness and community.

The event will take place on Wednesday, Nov. 15 from 6 to 8 p.m. outside Guardian Angel Thrift (742 N. Main St, Fuquay-Varina, NC 27526). The ceremony will begin at 7 p.m. The evening will include food trucks, music and dementia resource exhibitors, in addition to the candle lighting ceremony in honor of those living with dementia and in remembrance of those who have passed. Those lights are also a symbol of hope, a light in the darkness, that hopefully someday research will find a cure.

Please join me!

Helpful resources:

Andrea Osborne is Capitol Broadcasting Company’s director of content. She has a daughter in college and recently lost her mother who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She will be sharing her family’s journey here on WRAL’s family section.