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Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Solo Mom: How I do it

Posted May 10, 2011 8:53 p.m. EDT

Stacy Lamb, organizer of Single Parents of the Triangle

So how do you do it?

I said in my first post that as a single mom I get this question a lot. I wish I had an easy answer, but the truth is, like I said last month, I just do. Someone told me recently that they liken my attitude to a Winston Churchill quote: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Makes sense to me. Why would you stop to check out that kind of scenery?

Of course, there’s a part of me that wants to say “If you’re going through hell, stop and party for a while.” Maybe that doesn’t seem too Mom-blog appropriate, but think about it. We all need time for ourselves – to party, if you will, or to do whatever it is that we enjoy. Whatever it is that makes me, well, ME.

I think that’s the key. I do find time, however little, to do the things that make me happy. Sure we’ve all heard that before and thought “she’s crazy, I have no time for me!” But the kids go to bed sometime, right? Those dishes can wait another day, and I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart won’t be stopping by tonight to criticize that still-piled-in-the-basket laundry (and if she does, well obviously she’s got time, she can fold the clothes!).

Some ways that I have found “me time” include:

  • Working out, catching up with friends, or just relaxing with a book after the kids go to bed
  • Hosting a dinner/movie night at my house – my childless friends understand that sometimes this is my only social life, and they all appreciate having a willing hostess!
  • Trading sleepover nights (for the kids of course) with other single parents
  • A “date night” often involves me cooking dinner after the kids have gone to bed
  • Posting and attending events with Single Parents of the Triangle where the kids can run around (somewhere safe) and the adults can hang out nearby and talk. We also meet up for the occasional lunch break when the kids are in school
  • I’m also lucky to have my mother living close by. And what grandmother doesn’t want to spoil her grandkids? As long as it’s not the night of her favorite TV show, Grandmom is always willing to babysit!

Your turn – what other ways have you found some time for yourself? You don’t have to be a single parent to have a hectic life – comments here are (as always) open to everyone!

Stacy Lamb of Apex is the divorced mom of two. She also is organizer for Single Parents of the Triangle. See an earlier post about the group. Find her here monthly on Wednesday.