'SNL' presents the impeachment trial of President Trump 'you wish had happened'
Posted February 2, 2020 12:37 a.m. EST
CNN — "Saturday Night Live" kicked off this week's episode by presenting the impeachment trial of President Trump that "you wish had happened."
"After months of anticipation, the impeachment trial of President Trump wound up consisting of two weeks of dry debate and posturing and will conclude without any witness testimony or new evidence," a narrator for the NBC variety show read. "For those hoping for more, here is the trial you wish had happened."
The fantasy impeachment first replaced Chief Justice John Roberts (Mikey Day) with Judge Mathis (Kenan Thompson).
"Do you want my gavel?" Day's Roberts asked.
"Fool, I brought my own," Thompson's Mathis responded. "Watch out."
Thompson's Mathis then called forth Sens. Mitch McConnell (Beck Bennett) and Lindsey Graham (Kate McKinnon) as well as former national security adviser John Bolton (Cecily Strong).
Thompson's Mathis asked what other details were in Bolton's book.
"No, no, sorry Judge. No more free spoilers," Strong's Bolton said. "But you can pre-order the book now. It's called 'Harry Potter and the Room Where It Happened.'"
Mathis also called Hunter Biden (Pete Davidson) to testify -- and he came in on a hoverboard scooter.
"Hey, you're not going to believe this, but my schedule was wide open," Davidson's Biden said.
Thompson's Mathis finally called President Trump (Alec Baldwin) to the stand, who was defending himself.
"Your honor, I'm a very sick old man. How could I withhold aid from the Ukraine? I can barely get around the house," Baldwin's Trump said.
In the make-believe trial, Trump gave a surprisingly honest closing statement.
"Ladies and gentlemen of this government place, what I have learned from this trial is that clearly nothing I do or say has any consequence so I'd like to come clean," Baldwin's Trump began. "The call with the Ukraine wasn't perfect, it was illegal and frankly it was a butt dial."
Baldwin's Trump added that he watches "CNN all the time, and it's awesome," that he cheats all the time in golf and taxes, and that he hates many states, including "West Carolina."
After that, Thompson's Mathis gave his judgment.
"Alright, Judge Mathis finds the defendant guilty on all charges," he said. "He's fined $10,000 and I'm forcing him to say one nice thing about Nancy Pelosi."