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Queer Prom allows local LGBTQIA+ community safe space not always afforded in high school

Prom is supposed to be a magical night, a coming of age moment in most young people's lives. However, not all people have the opportunity to safely be themselves during their high school years - or attend prom with the person of their desire.

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By
Brett Knese
, WRAL Reporter & Heather Leah, WRAL multiplatform producer
RALEIGH, N.C. — Prom is supposed to be a magical night, a coming of age moment in most young people's lives. However, not all people have the opportunity to safely be themselves during their high school years – or attend prom with the person of their desire.

For those people, the Human Rights Campaign's Triangle chapter hosts the Queer Prom. It's a safe space where people of all ages can revisit that coming of age experience – and transform possibly traumatic memories into something more beautiful.

The idea started with a single person, who shared a personal experience during a meeting of HRC Triangle.

"One of our members, an older gentleman, said, 'You know what? I didn’t get to go to prom with the person of my choice,'" said Jill Duffner, who manages the marketing for HRC Triangle and organizes the Queer Prom.

From that, she says, the group came up with the idea of a Queer Prom.

"Where anyone could attend – a way for people to come out and celebrate, where previously they couldn’t be who they were," said Duffner.

Making special memories at HRC's Queer Prom in Raleigh.

Over half of LGBTQIA+ youth in NC have a parent who doesn't accept them

That message couldn't be more important after a recent study by Campaign for Southern Equality, which found in 13 southern states – including North Carolina – over half of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, and queer people had a parent who tried to change or repress their sexual orientation or gender identity.

"It really is about being able to have that prom experience that you would have wanted when you were in high school and coming as your authentic self," says Louis Kemp of the National HRC Board of Governors.

Allison Greaney and Jen Mauney remember their high school prom – and say that experience felt stifled.

"There was pressure to find a guy to take me to prom, and I didn't really feel very comfortable," recalls Greaney. "I wasn't really into him. Now, I get to with someone I actually really want to go with."

HRC Triangle hosts Queer Prom at All Saint's Chapel on Saturday, Sept. 24 at 8 p.m. (Photo courtesy of HRC Triangle)

Queer Prom building bridges with the community

Queer Prom has all the glitz and grandeur of a prom: Food, dancing, music. There's even a photo booth with a professional photographer and dazzling props. People come wearing corsages, boutonnieres and spectacular outfits.

"It's a judgment-free zone," said Duffner. "I've had people show up in cargo shorts – and I've seen sequence suits. The outfits are part of the fun."

For music, expect the pop dance classics: Cher. Madonna. Whitney.

All ages (over 21) show up, but Duffner says there's a sweet spot for people who grew up during a time where being "out" was even more difficult – and potentially dangerous.

"There's actually a sweet spot for people over 50. There's a prominent group of them who are very involved," said Duffner. "You'll see people freshly 21, and then see the older generation."

Duffner says the Queer Prom has enjoyed a lot of support, not just by the LGBTQIA+ community, but by the All Saint's Chapel and Raleigh Police Department.

"I'm sure we turned a couple of heads having the venue in All Saint’s Chapel, historically a church," said Duffner. "But it's very much a safe place with a very affirming company. Making sure we feel safe and comfortable every step of the way."

The Raleigh police, she says, have also made sure they feel supported. Given that the origins of Pride begin with the Stonewall Riots, triggered by historic police harassment of the LGBTQIA+ community in cities like New York, Duffner says it's important that the LGBTQIA+ community in Raleigh feel supported by law enforcement.

"It really means a lot," she said. "We're really bridging gaps."

Duffner says everyone is welcome at the Queer Prom, including allies.

"Come as you are. It's an affirming space," she said. "We are there to promote love and equality."

And for Greaney and Mauney, Queer prom was just that -- a chance to show off their love for one another and spend the night with that special someone who makes their world spin.

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