Paying for senior living: when to plan, what to choose, and how to navigate a big decision

Deciding a senior living community is right for you or a loved one is often overshadowed by financial questions — can you afford the community that feels right? Will any insurance plan help cover the cost? Are there any options that match your financial situation? Knowing the answers to these questions is paramount in making the final decision to move into senior living.

The best place to start? According to Debra Ruff, sales associate at senior living community the Templeton of Cary, the first steps are best completed with a financial advisor, so you can plan how to set up your assets and income for future success.

The difference between a buy-in and a rental contract is one of the biggest factors determining your cost for a senior living community. Understanding that difference, and evaluating which is right for you, is the first step in assessing how much money you'll need upfront and every month in your chosen community.

"There is some variance in community costs and fees, but the biggest part always goes back to one thing: whether you want to do a buy-in where you have to put down a large sum of money or a rental where you're going to have a higher monthly cost," said Ruff.

Aside from personal assets, many seniors have insurance policies that could be used in financing their retirement options, but often these policies are confusing, and the particulars are hard to decipher. Asking your potential community staff can help you navigate the insurance components.

"A lot of questions that arise from people revolve around long-term care policies. They don't understand them, and they don't understand how it can aid them," said Stephanie Shelton, regional director of sales and marketing for Liberty Senior Living. "From that standpoint again, it's asking the questions of the sales team members at the community that you are looking to learn about and figure out if it's a good fit — because the community at-large can provide internal resources based upon what the questions are."

Once you've made the big decisions, such as the type of contract you're seeking, the rest of the costs are usually very transparent. According to Krista Lemery, executive director of the Templeton of Cary, most amenities like housekeeping, utilities and dining are included in your cost — things like some events, however, might be extra.

"The only hidden costs would be things like if we're doing a social program," said Lemery. "It might be the cost of your ticket to see that show."

Ruff echoed similar sentiments to Lemery.

"I had a resident describe it to me one time as 'this is like being on a cruise ship on land,'" said Ruff.

If you've decided on a particular type of contract, and most fees are included, your remaining financial choices are based on the quality of amenities. Shelton described the differences in communities and their costs as being much like hotels.

"The quality of your staff, the quality of your food, the quality of your activities — these are all the things that are going to play into it," said Shelton. "If you think about Marriott, you've got everything from the Ritz Carlton down to their more basic offerings. They're still going to provide similar amenities, it's really just the quality of the amenities that changes."

One financial hurdle many seniors face is the desire to leave an inheritance for their children. Shelton has heard many family conversations along these lines.

"Most children of seniors will tell their parents, 'No, I don't need your money. I want you to use your money appropriately for your care and your happiness. Don't save your money for me. I want you to enjoy it,'" said Shelton.

To overcome this hurdle and set yourself up for financial stability in a senior living community, Ruff gives the clearest advice.

"The more pre-planning you do, the better," said Ruff. "Having very open and honest discussions with your family on what you want, be proactive and not reactive so you can take part in the decision making."