Scrooge Tried for Assault on Santa

It was the case of the "Assaulted Santa."

The defendant, a Mr. Josh, was charged with attacking one Santa Clauson the night of 24 December, 1996. Presiding in the courtroom was JudgeDonald Stephens.

Here's what Santa says happened.

Listen toauor Real Audiofile."I was sliding down the chimney and this fat ugly man pulled me down."

Testimony showed that Mr. Josh was not pleased with the quality of hisChristmas presents.

Listen toauor Real Audiofile."It's been 5, 6 years since I got anything from Santa Claus."

Finally, as a rapt jury looked on, District Attorney Colon Willoughbyasked the key question: "Did you assault Santa Claus?"

Listen toauor Real Audiofile."I did... Gasp."In the name of holiday spirit, there was a warm embrace betweenplaintiff and defendant and all was forgiven...bringing to a close the case of the "Assaulted Santa."

Santa, admits it was a traumatic experience to have been assaulted onthe job.What Mr. Josh thinking? He says he wasn't thinking.

That brings an end to another edition of the Christmas Court. Soif you find yourself at loggerheads with a bearded creature from the north,don't take the law into your own hands... you take 'em to court.

Photographer:Joe Frieda