Holidays Difficult for Those Who've Lost Loved Ones

Posted 5:00 a.m. Dec 18, 1997 — Updated 5:00 a.m. Dec 18, 1997

RALEIGH — Celebrating with friends and family is whatthis holiday season is all about for most people, but that is the veryreason these holidays are so painful for many. People going throughtheir first holiday season after the death of a loved one often find itdifficult to cope, as memories make the seasonal cheer ring hollow.

There are, however, ways to fill the emptiness.

Like many, Dorothy Langston has experienced some dark times in herlife. Three years ago, her mother and her husband died just a few monthsapart.

When Christmas rolled around that year, Langston says she didn't feellike celebrating.

This holiday season, many people are experiencing that same type ofgrief. No matter what time of year a spouse or loved one dies,psychotherapist Bill Edwards says the people left behind tend to think ofthe joy they've lost.

Langston says there is hope for people grieving right now. In her case,faith and time have eased the pain. Helping other people has also helpedher appreciate the good things life still holds for her.

There are things that can be done to lessen the pain of a holidaywithout loved ones. Experts say it helps to talk about grief. They alsosuggest changing the routine that can make the memories more painful.Exercise is also suggested as a means to feel better.

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