Local News

On a Rainy Day, GI's Leave Umbrellas at Home

Posted September 27, 1997 12:00 a.m. EDT

— With the weather we've had the last couple of days, let's hope you have an umbrella handy. All you civilians, anyway. As you may know, the Army has taken a bit of a bath for its umbrella stand, the one that lets female soldiers carry umbrellas. But not men.

Think about it. No matter how hard it rains, you never see a GI under an umbrella. And think about this, too. The no-umbrella policy is never mentioned in those "Be All You Can Be" recruiting commercials.

Bob:When's the last time you've been under an umbrella. PFC Charles Harris:Really don't know sir. Bob:Feels good though doesn't it. PFC Harris:Yes it does sir. Bob:Probably been rained on a lot in last couple of years. PFC Harris:Yes Sir.

Now women, they can get under umbrellas. They can open they up, hold them and shake them out. Only, none of them seem to know it.

These are tough guys, jump on a hand grenade tough. But just show them them an umbrella handle and YOW!

Bob:Could you get in trouble for this right here? Specialist Robert Irizzari:I couldn't get in trouble if you were holding it. Bob:So, if you were holding the umbrella, there'd be trouble. Irizzari:Probably.

Just get the guys out of uniform. They rediscover their umbrella love.

Bob:When's the last time you've been under an umbrella? PFC Robert Miller:This is the first time in a couple years. Bob:Go ahead, hold the umbrella. Feels good doesn't it? PFC Miller:Proud to be an American.

Of course, they are a little bit out of practice.

Bob:Could you keep it over me too.