Mary J. Blige: ‘I Was Dealing With My Personal Pain’ in ‘Mudbound’

Mary J. Blige was honored with a Hollywood Walk of Fame star on Jan. 11, her birthday, and it gave the 47-year old singer and actress ever more affirmation that she made the right move three years ago when she left New York for Los Angeles. She needed it.

Blige’s marriage was falling apart when she landed the role of a sharecropper’s wife, Florence, in Dee Rees’ lauded film “Mudbound,” and she poured her pain into the performance, earning multiple awards nominations, including very possibly an Oscar nod (the nominees are to be announced Tuesday). Her divorce has become tabloid fodder, but, undaunted, Blige has continued to campaign and show up at awards ceremonies.

I spoke with Blige in Beverly Hills on the eve of the Golden Globes, where the star joined the movement to wear black in support of victims of sexual harassment. She said she intimately understood the pain of keeping such secrets, having been abused herself for much of her childhood. “From the time I was 5 up until almost adulthood, I’ve had those exact kinds of things happen to me,” she said. Here are edited excerpts from our interview.

A: Definitely. It’s the one that people are taking me seriously about. It’s not a game for me. It’s not, ‘Give Mary J. Blige a role, and because she’s a singer, she can play games with it.’ There’s too many women that have paved the way, like Queen Latifah, and (Taraji P. Henson), and all of those really strong women. I don’t ever want to insult them by not taking the craft seriously.

A: That character was a place for me to just give everything that I was dealing with to. I was dealing with my own personal pain. I was really suffering. This was the place to just rest all this pain, and rest all of this confusion, but still at the same time trying to be a strong woman.

A: The first couple of days it was hard, because I didn’t realize I was depending on so many things to make me feel beautiful. So when Dee was, like, “No, we want your all-natural hair,” and I said, “No, well, can we do a lace front? Can she have wavy hair?” I didn’t want my own textured hair. Because it’s not the nicest textured hair. And I didn’t really want that to be seen. Those are the things I didn’t even realize that I was so insecure about. I didn’t realize I was so vain. I didn’t realize I was not that deep.

A: But it taught me a lesson. It taught me to love myself deeper. Because once I just exposed and let Florence live, I just went against the fear. It filled me up with a newfound love and a newfound confidence. It was tough at first. It was tough because I was really trying to get rid of Mary J. Blige, who was used to wigs and weaves and makeup.

A: I couldn’t believe it. I was not looking at myself; I was looking at a character. When I saw it at Sundance, I just broke down and cried.

A: I’m really proud of the moment. I’m happy for the people being set free. There’s a lot of women that have been suffering with this huge secret for years, and they’re speaking, and they’re helping other women feel empowered. Because this thing has caused women to feel less than. I know that feeling of having secrets that hold you and cause you to feel inferior or insecure and not equal.

A: Not in the music industry, but from the time I was 5 up until almost adulthood I’ve had those exact kinds of things happen to me. It’s tough being a little girl, and it’s tough being a teenager, and it’s tough being a woman. By the time I got to the music business I was completely in a state of mind of “I’m not having it.”

A: Everything. A lot of things that happened to me I wasn’t able to tell my parents until I was a grown woman. I stand with those women, and I’m happy for them, because they’re being set free mentally and spiritually.

A: A lot of scripts are coming in. People want to work with me. And it doesn’t change anything. I’m still going to work hard. I’m still going to get whatever coach I need to bring whatever character to life. So many beautiful things are happening.

A: Of course. If it wasn’t for faith, if it wasn’t for God, I’d be dead, seriously. From 2016 to now, this is all God. This is all a blessing. There’s so many things that are being completely pruned and wiped away to prepare me for this.