Lynda Loveland: One on one - easier in basketball than parenting

I talked to a local parenting expert recently and she said the key to getting better behavior from your kids is spending more one on one time with them.

Really? No way! I’d never thought of that. That’s the nice way of putting my initial thought.

I KNOW I need to spend more one on one time with my kids. But HOW do I do it? Answer me that!

In families where both parents work, it seems virtually impossible. And when there are multiple children, the odds of winning the lottery seem better!

I lie awake at night thinking that my kids are going to be grown and out of the house before I get to really know them and have an influence and impact on them. That’s the long term stressor. The short term is this: I gotta stop the kids from yelling and not listening.

Monday through Thursday, it’s virtually impossible to do anything other than the necessities. I’m talking homework, dinner, clean up, bath and bed. And right now we’ve got ballet, swim and karate classes. I have to go to bed right after the kids which means I have to get my stuff done early too.

That leaves Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. I don’t know about you, but by Friday night I’m totally pooped and brain fried. OK, maybe I can catch up with each child over the weekend. Fat chance. There’s usually a birthday party or two. Plus household/yard work, errands, laundry and groceries. We go to the pool a lot now, but I don’t consider that one on one.

I think OK, what can I just let go? What can I slack on a little? And than I realize, NOTHING! I let a LOT around the house slide just to get the minimum done. I’ve got a to-do list that stretches from here to the coast!

I grow more stressed every day. I always thought I would take my kids out of daycare once a week to spend the afternoon with them. I’m down to one in daycare and it’s not happening. My heart is pounding just thinking about it.

Something’s gotta change. Or they’ll change, not because of me, but despite me.