Best books for parenting during the infant years

After my first baby, I thought that I had it figured out for my second. Feeding issues, sleep regressions, teething, I knew the ropes by then right? 

Funny how in the fog of early parenting you can forget everything you learned the moment it isn’t needed anymore. Even what you have retained no longer seems to work for this completely different little person.

5 books to help parents navigate the infant stage

These five books on parenting during infancy are great for both first timers, and for those of us who may need a little refresher on our next go around.  

Cribsheet: A Data Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting by Emily Oster

Economist Emily Oster’s sequel to Expecting Better, stays true to Oster’s research based approach to making parenting decisions. More relaxed, that’s what every parent aspires to be, right? In Cribsheet, Oster makes the case for sanity by tackling contradictory parenting advice and commonly held misconceptions, in a way that is both illuminating and extremely comforting.

Sometimes, whether you agree with it or not, Oster says the data seems clear; yes, you should get your child vaccinated, and no sleep training will not traumatize your child for life (all of Oster’s hate mail be damned.)

Other times, the data produces no one clear answer. In these cases Oster presents the evidence, but with the caveat that you need to make the decisions best for your family. 

Cribsheet is incredibly reassuring in its assertion that you are unlikely to mess up your child regardless of the decisions you make on many of the choices parents agonize over.

Breastfeeding or formula? Both fine.

A parent stays home or goes to work outside the home? Your child will be okay!

Much of the evidence can be used to support whatever way parents are already leaning, but Oster’s findings can still serve to take the pressure off of what appear to be make or break decisions. Cribsheet begins with those very first days of parenting and hits on the major questions that parents are likely to face up through toddlerhood. I’m glad that I kept this book around as I can still use the recaps on physical milestones and language development for my second child.  Rereading them made me feel infinitely better about my second child’s developmental delays (he isn’t doomed for life!)  I found the information on TV habits, potty training and toddler discipline, that weren’t yet applicable during my initial read, very helpful.  All in all, this is a book that you are going to want to keep on the shelf for a while to come back to.

The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Sleep Longer by Dr. Harvey Karp

In this book, author and pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp claims to provide the long sought after holy grail of infant parenting, how to get your baby to sleep. Kemp emphasizes the idea of a “fourth trimester,” where your infant is still adjusting to life on the outside. To help calm and soothe your baby, Kemp advocates replicating a womb-like atmosphere. Kemp’s method details how to trigger a baby’s “calming reflex” by utilizing his “5 S’s” to soothe your baby. By swaddling your baby, holding them on their side or stomach (but still placing them on their back to sleep!) making loud shushing noises to replicated the sounds of the womb, gently swinging (rocking) your baby, and giving them something to suck on, Kemp purports that you can help calm your infant and facilitate sleep. A widely lauded book for understanding and soothing newborns.

Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubief

For another great source of sleep advice (and isn’t this really what we’re all looking for during the infant stage?) parents can turn to Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubief.  The book explores the science behind sleep and offers practical guidance for parents, regardless of whether they prefer a structured form of sleep training, or a more gentle method. The book looks at the natural sleep patterns of babies throughout their different developmental stages, the importance of establishing sleep routines, naps, and of course the dreaded sleep regressions. During my first child’s sleep regressions, I read every piece of advice I could stay awake for on the topic.

What to Expect the First Year by Heidi Murkoff

What to Expect the First Year by Heidi Murkoff is the most generalized and comprehensive tome on my list. What to Expect provides a guide to your baby’s first 12 months of life that has been helping new parents since its original publication in 1989. Though it has gone through several updates and revisions, some information, especially in regard to sleep training and feeding information, still reads a little outdated. The book is organized by month to enable parents to prepare and respond to each challenge and milestone as they occur. The book is written in a clear and approachable way and covers a wide range of topics from newborn care, babyproofing, common illnesses, when to visit the doctor, vaccinations, developmental milestones, sleep strategies, transitioning to solid foods, picky eating, and food allergies. The book is exceptionally thorough, but is packed with such a large wealth of information that it can be too overwhelming to read all at once. Rather, I would recommend reading it a month or two at a time to avoid becoming oversaturated with information.  

Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam 

Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam focuses on the topics of feeding and sleep with an emphasis on the importance of predictable routines. Ezzo and Bucknam advise parents on creating a consistent routine of feedings, wake windows, and sleep times, in what they refer to as the “Eat, Wake, Sleep Cycle.” The book will not be for everyone as it advocates for sleep training. Parents are encouraged to let the baby cry for a short period of time to teach the baby to fall asleep on its own. Rather than neglect parent infant bonding however, the author’s encourage it during the child’s waking hours. They advocate the benefits of a structured schedule on fostering better sleep habits for the child, and thereby reducing parent exhaustion, something we could all use!

Whether you're looking for what the research really says, sleep advice, tricks to get your baby to finally stop crying, or an entire compendium of the first 12 months, these five books on parenting an infant should have you covered! As always, pick and choose the advice that applies to your unique family situation.