Go Ask Mom

Julia Sims: Growing up with hate

The mantra in our house is and always has been "kindness counts." So as a parent, it's hard to reconcile that with all the hate we seem to be seeing across our country: hate because of skin color, hate because of religious or ideological beliefs. The list goes on.

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Julia Sims

The mantra in our house is and always has been “kindness counts.”

So as a parent, it’s hard to reconcile that with all the hate we seem to be seeing across our country: hate because of skin color, hate because of religious or ideological beliefs. The list goes on.

I suppose the first instinct is to shelter your child from the heartache and the horror. But, at 10 years old, Will doesn’t have to watch the news to pick up bits and pieces of the violence that’s happening in the world around us. As parents, I think ignoring these events does more damage than facing them head on. It normalizes the behavior.

And so, while I wish we never had to talk to my son about hate, it’s what we’ve been doing. Instead of focusing on the hate though, we talk about the value of inclusion, the importance of empathy and the need for compassion. We’ve explained to Will that hate is a dangerous thing. It exhausts you and eats away at your very core. Kindness lifts you up. It frees you. 

Kids learn by example, and we need to lead by example. Take your kids to volunteer. Go feed the homeless or pack meals for the hungry. Befriend an elderly neighbor. Help a stranger. Choose your words wisely. Remember, kindness counts.

Here’s the thing: Despite all the sadness, I have hope. I truly believe our children have bigger kinder hearts than many of the adults in our society. It’s just up to us to nurture those hearts.

Julia Sims is the mom of one and a former reporter for WRAL-TV. She regularly appears here on Go Ask Mom.
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