How to talk to kids about cancer: A Raleigh teen sets some ground rules in video that's racking up views

How do you talk to a kid with cancer? Don't ask how "we" are doing, says 14-year-old Embree Duffy of Raleigh, who has been diagnosed with cancer a whopping four times, in a new video to raise money for leukemia research. And while she can make cancer jokes, keep yours to yourself unless you've had cancer too.

In 2012, Embree was diagnosed with leukemia at age 7. Since that day, she's undergone countless treatments, therapies and medications, including spinal taps, a bone marrow transplant and chemotherapy, to snuff the cancer out for good. Today, she's undergoing CAR T-cell therapy, to, in her words, turn her own cells into "cancer-killing" ones.

During this journey, Embree, who is this year's Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Girl of the Year, has had a community of support behind her. (Full disclosure: My family first met the Duffy family years ago when Embree and my older daughter were in the same Y Guides group.) But she also meets up with people who aren't quite sure how to talk to her about her illness. She knows they mean well, mom Erin Duffy tells me, but it happens pretty often.

The video is a lighthearted take on the topic where she shares five rules for talking about cancer with her, along with a bonus one. Supermodel Gisele Bundchen on steroids, "tasteful cancer jokes" and her love of handbags are mentioned along the way. But it also gets serious as she shares her own experience with cancer and how she handles the long days. She shares a little wisdom that would serve us all well.

"Sometimes you have to be OK with being a little upset," she says in the video. "You know what? This sucks, and if I want to have a pity party, just let yourself do that from time to time. It's important to be aware of your emotions and not push it away."

Tina Jones said she and her husband sat down to come up with ideas for the video, but took advice from Penn and Kim Holderness, who created the video and have found their own success on YouTube, to let it happen organically.

"People watching the video should know that it is authentic Embree," she said. "... Embree sat down and was able to say what was on her mind. What a gift that is to all of us to hear that message."

Embree's message is especially important as the teen undergoes CAR T-cell therapy which exists, thanks in large part, to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

"Without organizations like the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, I would not be able to be doing CAR-T cell therapy," Embree says in the video. "It's really, really important."

I caught up with the Duffy family as they were at yet another doctor's appointment Thursday about the video.

"I'm really proud of Embree for being so honest and real in this video," mom Erin Duffy tells me. "She teaches me things every day."

Said Embree: "Working with Penn and Kim Holderness on this video was really fun, and I learned a lot. I'm really grateful for their help in getting the word out about this important topic."