Facing fear, speaking truth: New police brutality prompts updated version of 'the talk' for WRAL anchor and his family

As parents, we want to protect our children from fear and injustice. But in the wake of the recent police brutality incident in Memphis, it's become clear that we need to update "the talk" we have with our kids.

Posted 11:00 a.m. Feb 4, 2023 — Updated 3:16 a.m. Feb 5, 2023

Julian Grace

, WRAL anchor/reporter

Their questions rush out. Their eyes are looking into mine for answers. I return the gaze, as I attempt to explain the unexplainable to my four children. The brutal death of Tyre Nichols plunges deeply into the discussion of racial disparities in policing.

I’m prepared for this talk. I have no rehearsed lines. There is nothing calculated in my response. I simply share the truth.

We live in a world where racial discrimination exists.

No apologies. I’ve come to grips with this being part of the script. The practice of being singled out based on predetermined characteristics is nothing new. In fact, at times it’s expected depending on the environment one may enter.

I’ve been stopped, searched, followed, falsely accused and treated inhumanly by officers.

Julian Grace describes 'The Talk' and his own encounter with police

Over the years, I learned how to navigate through it, and conduct myself in a manner to indicate I’m not a threat. Quite frankly, I’m fine in my skin because I’m secure in my Savior’s love for me.

However, my children are frightened because of the actions that took place in Memphis on Jan 7, 2023. These are not irrational anxieties. The officers use of force that night are out of the order of what’s expected of those who wear a badge to serve and protect. My children’s fears must be faced with candid conversations. My wife and I deemed our children sufficiently mature to engage in these discussions, because not speaking up and keeping silent is a sense of betrayal to those who have died unjustly while in police custody.

The images of a defenseless Tyre Nichols being beaten for several minutes with fist, kicks and a baton is hard to consume. Those images are now trapped in a repeated history of police brutality.

Memphis police release video of five officers in Tyre Nichols' arrest

That’s why we made our private conversations inside our home a public matter. In a two-part podcast series, WRAL Daily Download, I explore my own frightening encounter with a police officer as a teen, and the instructions my father shared with me.

We hope the knowledge we shared with our children on what to do during a traffic stop would shield their fears. Our main objective is for our children to come home safely. We educate them to follow the directives of an officer during a routine traffic stop.

We also instruct them we will not bear the shame of silence by keeping quiet if they were violated in any way during a stop. We will file a complaint and take immediate action to ensure corrective steps are taken.

I do believe we have to be more generous in our assessments of others. There are men and women who risk their lives everyday for people who will never know their name. Earlier this year, I publicly thanked the officers who shielded me and other drivers from a wrong-way driver. Their efforts were seen and deeply appreciated.

In our discussion with our children, I could sense they felt defeated as we got into the details about what happened to Tyre Nichols. Their faces showed no desire to talk about the good officers; they wanted a playbook on what to do when face to face with a bad one.

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