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Durham nonprofit sparks conversations of social justice, antiracism for kids, parents, teachers

Long before the death of George Floyd in police custody in Minneapolis this spring triggered widespread protests and discussions about systemic racism, Ronda Taylor Bullock has been working to educate young children, families and educators about race.

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Ronda Taylor Bullock, executive director of we are
By
Sarah Lindenfeld Hall
, Go Ask Mom editor
DURHAM, N.C. — "My kids don't see color" or "my child is colorblind" are common refrains for parents, especially white ones, but research shows quite the opposite.
Studies indicate that three-month-old babies prefer to look at the faces of their own race. Even as toddlers, they subscribe to "prevailing racial prejudices that favor the majority and disfavor minorities." By kindergarten, they "demonstrate race-based social preferences."
Around the same age, just as they enter kindergarten, says Ronda Taylor Bullock, executive director of Durham-based we are, a nonprofit that provides antiracism programs for kids, parents and teachers, some of these same children who once demonstrated a preference for their own race as babies veered down a new path. While white children's love of self increases, she said, for Black and brown children, it's quite the opposite.
Instead of seeing the value in their own abilities and talents, "Black and brown children developed a pro-white preference," Bullock said. And research suggests that that preference occurs, in large part, because of the books, movies, TV shows, advertisements and other media they've been exposed to during those formative years that primarily feature and hold up white characters. In children's books, for example, just 13% contain multicultural content even though 37% of the U.S. population are people of color.

Bullock tells the story of a local teacher who asked a Black child if the princess that she was drawing would have the same skin tone as her when a white classmate interrupted to say that princesses can only be white. The young boy likely wasn't taught that princesses can only be white, she said. He probably just noticed that most princesses were.

"All of these things are subliminally conditioning children to have these beliefs about people with whiter skin and people with darker skin," she said. "It's very important that we recognize even if you aren't explicitly teaching your child to hold these beliefs, they are synthesizing this information all around them."

And when a child sees and hears that they "can't" be something, it triggers a snowball effect that can damage their confidence and motivation going forward.

"If you get to school and you don't see a teacher that looks like you, you're not in the books that the teachers are reading or Black and brown characters are only subordinate characters or are in stereotypical roles or are seen as an athlete, it further affirms that Black and brown children don't matter and that white children are smart and better and more well behaved," said Bullock, a former English teacher at Hillside High School who has a PhD from UNC-Chapel Hill's policy, leadership and school improvement program and studies critical race theory, whiteness studies and antiracism.

'Lasting effect'

Long before the death of George Floyd in police custody in Minneapolis this spring prompted widespread protests and discussions about systemic racism, Bullock has been working to educate young children, families and educators about race.

Her nonprofit seeks to encourage conversations about race to foster healthy racial identities in both children and adults; promote civic engagement on issues of racial justice; develop strategies and curriculum that extend antiracist practices; and equip families with the tools and resources to build antiracist practices in their homes and communities.

In Black and brown households, race often is a regular topic of conversation simply because of family members' day-to-day experiences. Bullock, 38, remembers her first discussion with her mother about race when she was five years old. At the time, Bullock's kindergarten classmate had invited all of the other children sitting around the table to her birthday party. When Bullock asked her why she didn't get an invite, the girl told her it was because her dad said she couldn't attend because she was Black.

Many white households may not verbally express racist beliefs, but research shows that white parents often shy away from discussions about race, believing that their children are colorblind or "don't see race." But avoiding the topic can make matters worse — even for the most well-intentioned parent, Bullock said.

"Research shows that white children are making sense of race and racism and skin color and they are developing these biases and beliefs about people," Bullock said. "If you listen to how kids play — whose the good guy and bad guy when playing, who are the rules, who is in charge? You can hear from out of their imaginations what they believe about different groups of people. It's important that white parents have conversations with white kids at young ages. Having these intentional conversations with kids can have a lasting effect."

But, for many white parents, these conversations don't come easily for a variety of reasons. For parents seeking to teach their kids how to be antiracist — somebody who not only opposes racism but also promotes racial tolerance — Bullock has some advice.

Start early

From a very early age, bring in books, movies and other media into your home that feature Black and brown characters, Bullock said. Teach kids why our skin tones are different. For example, explain what melanin is and how that determines the color of our skin.

"Help them understand that skin color doesn't make you better or worse than other people or smarter or less smart," she said. "At the same time, it's important for children to understand that in our society that people have made laws based on the color of skin, and these laws treat people unfairly. We have to help them be able to point it out."

To teach these lessons, Bullock recommends a variety of books, including "All the Colors We Are," by Katie Kissinger, "The Skin You Live In," by Michael Tyler and David Lee Csicsko, "We're Different, We're the Same," by Bobbie Kates and Joe Mathieu, and "I Am Mixed," by Garcelle Beauvais.

She also recommends exposing young children to books and media that feature young activists or cover the civil rights movement and other racial and social justice efforts around the world. Recommendations include books such as "Ruby Bridges Goes to School: My True Story," by Ruby Bridges, "Sit-In: How Four Friends Stood Up by Sitting Down" by Andrea Davis Pinkney, and "Malala's Magic Pencil," by Malala Yousafzai.

Look within

Many of our schools, neighborhoods, churches and community groups remain segregated. If you don't have a diverse group of friends, how can you expect your children too? Bullock said.

"As parents, we are our kids' first teachers," she said. "We have to model that."

But that doesn't mean you should go out and find a Black or brown friend for your child, she said. That can be inauthentic.

Instead, look to make structural changes within your community. Support educators who want to bring social justice into the school's curriculum. Advocate for Black and brown stories to be represented in schools. Find spaces for Black and brown leadership to be promoted and supported. Attend racial equity training.

"There's work to be done in the white community, and white people don't have to go anyplace else," she said.

Learn with your child, she said.

"Teach children how to recognize when they are seeing biases and to be advocates and speak up," she said. "Find opportunities for their kids, so they can learn alongside their children in similar spaces. They can be learning as their children are also learning."

Watch your language

We may not intend to raise kids who think less of others because of the color of their skin, but our actions can speak as loudly as our words.

Only providing kids with books and entertainment that feature white characters, explaining that you're not attending a neighborhood school with a diverse population because you're worried about "achievement" or "behavior issues," locking doors when a Black man walks near your car, not shutting down a family member who makes a racist joke at the holiday dinner table are all ways children can be conditioned to think about "whiteness" in a way you never intended.

"If you say something or don't say something, you're still communicating a lot to a child about what's appropriate and what's not appropriate," she said.

Support the local Black community

As philanthropic dollars dry up because of the ongoing pandemic, look for local groups that are supporting the local Black or brown community and buy from Black and brown-owned businesses, she said.

"There are people on the ground, living in those communities with the expertise and lived experiences, who are accountable to the community and just aren't getting those dollars," she said.

Continue the work

Don't expect to be done by simply buying a few new books and shuttling a few dollars to a Black-owned business. "This is a lifetime commitment," Bullock said. "This journey to become an antiracist parent and raise antiracist, socially conscious children is not a marathon or a sprint."

During a normal summer, Bullock would be leading antiracist camps for children and in-person workshops for parents and educators. The pandemic forced the group to cancel its camps for grade schoolers and shift to online programming. But she's hopeful that renewed interest in social justice and antiracism won't be forgotten. She'd like to grow her nonprofit beyond North Carolina.

"I don't think racism is about to end next week or next year," she said. "It took 400 years of building a white supremacist system. But this movement, right now, is sending us in a better direction, and we have to capitalize on it."

Bullock has another reason to be hopeful and continue her work. She is the mom of two grade schoolers, who she shares with husband, Daniel Kelvin Bullock, who co-founded we are.

"My children are a large part of why I wanted to start we are because when you become a parent, your life changes," she said. "You start to think about your racial experiences and how you want to prevent your child from having those same experiences. Even though that is an unrealistic expectation, that doesn't stop us from trying."

More information about we are is on its website and Facebook page, including details about how to get involved in virtual programs. This week, from July 6 to July 10, the nonprofit will be posting a recorded book reading and resources each day on its Facebook page. The books are best for first and second graders. They also will host a Facebook Live book reading of "Something Happened in Our Town" by co-authors Marietta Collins and Ann Hazzard at 10 a.m., Wednesday, July 8.
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