How to handle funeral services in the era of COVID-19

During the first six months of the pandemic, with tight restrictions on gatherings and travel, many families elected to postpone any kind of funeral service until the virus was more contained. While the number of documented cases (8% of the state) and the number of North Carolinians who have been vaccinated (according to the CDCnearly 17% of North Carolinians have received their first dose; 5% have received both), we are still a far way from herd immunity.

Burial services have served an important role across societies for thousands of years. To understand how funeral homes are meeting these needs in these times, I reached out to Funeral Director Heather Hill, of Renaissance Funeral Home, with these questions:

We have seen an increase in the families we serve, yes. For us, that increase happened right after the new year. That was our greatest spike here at our funeral home. Sadly, we have also served families with multiple family members dying from Covid.

Are families making different choices than earlier in terms of traditional burial versus cremation?

I don’t think there has been a big shift in the method of disposition. If they wanted a burial before, they’re still choosing that. We have seen a slight increase in cremation, but it’s hard to prove if it’s just the trending choice for cremation recently, or because of the pandemic.

How are families handling services?

Mostly, families are choosing to do small services and taking advantage of our offer to stream the services at no additional charge. I’ve found the second choice is families choosing to postpone services. I’m not as fond of the second choice. Time gets away from us all, and I hope that the families really do choose the hold services at some point. Honoring and remembering is such an integral part of grieving. Even if it’s just gathering a smaller group to make their loved one's favorite meal, or listening to their favorite music.

We have notice a slight increase in the families that want to be a part of the cremation, by actually being in the crematory during the start of the cremation process. Our crematory has a nice, welcoming space for families to do that.

If a family wants to have some kind of service, what is the current limit and structure in NC now?

We are allowing small groups of up to 25 people in our chapel, that during normal times, seats 200. We require masks and social distancing and urge families to not make their plans for small services public. According to state mandates, “The mass gathering limit and other requirements do not apply to worship, religious, and spiritual gatherings, funeral ceremonies, wedding ceremonies, and other activities constituting the exercise of First Amendment rights.”

Please tell me more about virtual services. How do those typically work?

We will stream on a public platform (youtube or facebook) at no charge to the family. We can also record services or even facetime a family member for the family. I did that this week for an aunt in NY. If the family wants a more in-depth video service, we work with a third party to record.

Are there any special considerations when writing an obituary?

When writing during Covid-19, we are finding that families are stating that private family services “have” been held or will be held at a later date. This is to keep numbers down for attending the services here, and to make the community not feel left out with respect to the family.

With vaccinations being rolled out, are there any milestones we need to reach in order for people to have funerals again?

We will rely on state recommendations, and also to our own staff and their feelings about safety. We have found that at the beginning of the pandemic, last spring, we were getting pushback about the numbers of people allowed in our facility, but now, since the public is well aware of the risk of gatherings, we don’t have to convince the public that gathering is not a safe choice right now. We will continue to re-evaluate based on stats. I have a feeling that we will slowly increase our numbers as the community leads.

Are you allowing viewings?

We are allowing viewings, even for a Covid+ loved one. This has been important, especially for those families who were unable to visit with loved ones when the nursing homes and hospitals were closed to visitors. We want families to be able to have a proper good bye and closure. It can be an integral part of the grief process.