The coronavirus pandemic has given most parents far more to think about than we ever anticipated – how to balance homeschool and work, how to explain why our kids can’t play with neighbors, the list goes on. For parents who are managing a co-parenting situation, there are often more questions than answers. Local mom
Shaunis Mercer, a licensed divorce attorney with Rosen Law Firm, answered some common questions about how to work together as co-parents during these challenging times.
GAM: Do custody agreements still apply when challenges like work schedules and/or illness come into play?
Shaunis Mercer: Your court order still governs, but consider being flexible to meet the best interests of your children. If either parent’s work exposes them to an increased risk of infection or either parent is diagnosed with COVID-19, consider working together to come up with creative solutions to make sure that your children still get meaningful time with that parent. While FaceTime and Skype are good options, so is playing an online game or screen sharing on Google Hangouts to help with schoolwork. Make sure that any changes that you make to your existing schedule are in writing and specify when things will go back to normal.
GAM: How important is it to ensure rules regarding social distancing are the same across households?
SM: During times of uncertainty, children thrive most on consistency, uniformity and routine. Discuss what rules and restrictions will be put in place regarding social distancing in each home. It can be difficult for children to understand why sleepovers and playing at the park is prohibited in one home, while it is acceptable in the other home. Do your best to get on the same page with your co-parent – for the best interest of your child(ren).
GAM: What about scheduling – should we be consistent there, too?
SM: Again, consistency is so critical for kids during difficult times. Work with your co-parent to create a consistent schedule of daily activities for your child. Share resources for online learning opportunities and utilize shared online schedules to make sure your children’s lives have a sense of normalcy. If you need some ideas to get you started, here are a couple:
GAM: What if my co-parent is uncooperative?
SM: If your co-parent is unwilling or hesitant to work together, do the best you can for your children.
Keep your routines consistent and follow the recommendations of the officials to the best of your ability. If you must deviate from the court order, make sure that you speak with your attorney first, then document your reasoning in writing to the other parent. If the other parent is making poor decisions and not looking out for the best interest of the children, make sure to communicate your concerns in writing to the other parent. Then discuss what next steps should be with your attorney.
Shaunis recommends checking in with your parenting coordinator or a co-parenting therapist if you need additional support – or talk to your attorney as needed. She stresses that it’s important to try and keep kids in therapy remotely when possible and where applicable.
Free Webinar Offers More Guidance
Still need more guidance? Shaunis will be holding a co-parenting during COVID-19 webinar on Tuesday, March 24 at 11 am. It will cover the topics addressed here and more on what’s best for your children during these uncertain times. To register,
click here.
Shaunis Mercer is a licensed divorce attorney from North Carolina. She has held many positions across her legal career, including acting as the Town Attorney for Angier, the Juvenile Contractor for Harnett County, and was the first attorney in the county to be certified as a Parent Coordinator. She currently works in the Triangle as an attorney for the Rosen Law Firm.
