A chance to tap into our better selves

There is no question whether this pandemic and period of isolation and deprivation will change us. The question is whether it will change us into better versions of ourselves, or the opposite of that.

Posted 6:39 p.m. Mar 25, 2020 — Updated 1:06 p.m. Mar 26, 2020

Liisa Ogburn

It took effort last night to not pick up my phone one last time to see the latest coronavirus case count on the Johns Hopkins site. I was reading Jenny Offill’s new book, Weather. I had reached a satisfying passage to close the book on,

When electricity was introduced, there were letters to the paper on how it would undermine family togetherness… In 1903, a famous psychologist worried that young people would lose their connection to dusk and its contemplative moments.

I lay in bed, tired in a good way. I knew that if I picked my phone back up, I would disappear down the rabbit hole of one shocking new development after another, only to find it was nearing midnight and it would take me awhile to fall into a restless sleep.

With all of this time suddenly on our hands, how do we tap into our wiser selves at tiny decision points like the one I had last night? Maybe part of the answer is noticing what happens when we don’t?

Maybe it's a good moment to look back to the 13 virtues Ben Franklin penned in 1726 at the age of 20 or the 110 Rules of Civility George Washington copied at age 16 from a set of rules composed by French Jesuits in 1595?

Every year, sixty percent of Americans set New Year’s Resolutions. There’s nothing more emboldening than starting off in a gallop towards a new goal with a clean slate. 66 days, research tells us, is the magic number to convert a behavior into a habit. Eighty percent of us quit around Day 40.

If we in North Carolina were to count the restrictions Governor Cooper put in place on March 14, when the 26th case was confirmed, that would put us at Day 11. More restrictions have been put in place since then and I imagine more are still to come.

Is there some way we can couple these necessary external constraints, with renewed internal hopes, dreams and goals?

In Monday’s post, I shared stories of ways people were doing an admirable job in the right spirit.

None of us are perfect. In fact, just moments ago, I mishandled a conflict with one of my kids now that all of us are working under one roof—and in spite of the fact that I am working on this article. How can I say one thing and do another? I repeat. None of us are perfect.

The photo that accompanies this post is of a succulent in my kitchen window. How remarkable that that miniscule stem with a flower on the end has grown over a dozen times the length of its base. Oh, the lengths we will go to reach towards what is light and warm and good.

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